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Talking Shit with a Foot Long Dick 

A man is teasing and turning on women by wearing tight spandex shorts or tight jeans showing the outline of his penis, and at the same time conversing in risque, sexy conversation with women, knowing that they are checking out the outline of his dick and getting turned on and horny for some cock.
All Bad Ass Wally does all day his hang out on the corner wearing his spandex shorts and engaging in sex talk with all the women who pass by to check out his cock showing through his shorts. Bad ASs Wally loves to spend all day Talking Shit with a Foot Long Dick.

talking shit about a pretty sunset 

Something you may not like or agree with but morally have no business talking shit about.
"yeah, I'm not really a huge fan of his mother but I'm not going to start talking shit about a pretty sunset."

Holy Shit, a Talking Muffin 

1- A surprised or sarcastic, but acknowledging, response to a statement of intelligence from a usually ill-informed or negligible source.

2- A phrase uttered when someone makes a statement that is completely unnecessary, painfully obvious, or both.

Adapted from The Muffin Joke. As seen in the example, which definition is used depends on the respondent's perspective of the original comment.
1: Parent: "Halo: Reach was completely over-hyped."

Gamer Child: "Holy shit, a talking muffin!"

2: Parent: "Halo: Reach was completely over-hyped."

Gamer Child: "Holy shit, a talking muffin."

I'm taking a shit 

You got bored and googled "I'm taking a shit" and now you're here.
I got bored while taking a shit so I googled "I'm taking a shit"
I'm taking a shit by Nordgern August 19, 2017

taking a shit 

The act of defecating. Nothing to do with actual taking of feces.
Also, can be used to describe something that has almost become non-functioning or is poorly performing.
Not to be confused with giving a shit.
Joe is taking a shit.
or
The stock market is taking a shit today.
or
I got half way up that last hill and then my transmission started taking a shit.
taking a shit by cagerat December 29, 2007

taking a shit in reverse 

Another phrase used to describe anal sex.
taking a shit in reverse by Jenny November 11, 2004