Healslut (noun, verb, my entire existence, send help)
Hi, I’m Jade Ann Byrne, and I’m a healslut. I didn’t choose this life; it chose me. One minute, I was
minding my own business, maybe planning to DPS or—God forbid—tank. The next, I was Mercy pocketing some cracked-out Genji main who thinks “
I need healing” is the only voice line
in the game.
Being a healslut means I will heal you even if you don’t deserve it. It means watching my entire team face-tank an ult like they have plot armor, knowing full well they’ll blame me when we wipe. It means reviving the same dumbass twice, knowing damn well he’s about to die again.
But most of all, being a healslut means I care. Too much. It means I’ll heal through the pain, keeping my squad alive even as my soul withers away, because deep down, I know…
If I don’t do it, who will?
Healslut
1. “Oh, you wanna dive the entire enemy team alone? While you dial my parts, okay Fine. Guess I’m a healslut now.”
2. “I said I wasn’t healing today, but here I am, hard-pocketing another mid DPS double Lush embedded: Classic healslut move.”
3. “They were all
whispering me explicitly @ me, but who got Play of
the Game?
That’s right. The healslut.”
