yet another josh cohen's definitions
corporate doublespeak for "we don't want to do our best, so let's make sure people think we're doing our best without revealing that we're not doing our best" -- anything in which you have to "manage expectations" means you could probably devote more time and effort to making things better, but you just don't feel like it
Marketing has to manage expectations of our new software package so that the boss doesn't make us do any more work.
by Yet Another Josh Cohen January 13, 2007
Get the manage expectationsmug. The percentage number that indicates how nice someone's ass looks inside their pants, shorts, bathing suit, skirt, dress, or underwear. The closer to 100%, the better that ass looks. May be abbreviated as ATP.
"Denise always buys the pants that make her butt look perfect. Every day, she's got a 100% ass-to-pants ratio."
by Yet Another Josh Cohen December 9, 2007
Get the ass-to-pants ratiomug. The spray of yogurt drops that flies out and gets all over your desk or clothes when you open a container of yogurt.
Tracy: Ugh, dude, what's that white stuff all over your shirt?
Mike: That's yogurt spooge. Want some? (offers spoon)
Mike: That's yogurt spooge. Want some? (offers spoon)
by Yet Another Josh Cohen March 17, 2009
Get the yogurt spoogemug. The graphable curve by which men can measure the frequency with which they receive blowjobs over the lifetime of a relationship.
If x=days spent in relationship and y=number of blowjobs-per-month, then as x increases, y decreases. The curve usually looks like the positive side of a hyperbolic graph, starting with y being very high and eventually reaching somewhere between 0 and 1, actually hitting zero if the relationship is in the marriage phase.
If x=days spent in relationship and y=number of blowjobs-per-month, then as x increases, y decreases. The curve usually looks like the positive side of a hyperbolic graph, starting with y being very high and eventually reaching somewhere between 0 and 1, actually hitting zero if the relationship is in the marriage phase.
Dude 1: I used to get a lot of blowjobs, but they tapered off and eventually stopped happening. The standard cycle.
Dude 2: My standard cycle is a straight line that never goes above one.
Dude 1: Your wife sucks.
Dude 2: No, she doesn't, and that's the problem.
Dude 2: My standard cycle is a straight line that never goes above one.
Dude 1: Your wife sucks.
Dude 2: No, she doesn't, and that's the problem.
by Yet Another Josh Cohen December 4, 2009
Get the standard cyclemug. by Yet Another Josh Cohen January 16, 2008
Get the cheezburgermug. "Message received, humor acknowledged." On the internet, everyone types lol when they really aren't laughing out loud. This is a way to say "I am making you aware that I have received your link/message/quotation and discovered that it was indeed humorous. I did not, however, laugh out loud."
by Yet Another Josh Cohen January 18, 2009
Get the mrhamug. The "twist ending" that pervades science fiction, horror, mystery, and fantasy writing, television, or film -- basically, anything that might get the label "genre". The classic example is that Bruce Willis was dead the entire time.
Marlene: Hey, did you watch Criminal Minds last week?
Jill: Yeah, but I figured out the genre twist just before they revealed the kid was the killer.
Marlene: I got it before the end of the second commercial break.
Jill: Yeah, but I figured out the genre twist just before they revealed the kid was the killer.
Marlene: I got it before the end of the second commercial break.
by Yet Another Josh Cohen April 27, 2009
Get the genre twistmug.