Ofsquirrel

n, proper: A character in “The Handmaid’s Dianetics Trilogy,” previously known as Doris, until she is taken to visit The Church of Scientology where, following her attempts as a social worker to deprogram Ofhubbard, Ofhubbard frames her for the murder of Taylor swift and then blackmails her into becoming a staff member.

Derivation: Of—common prefix of indoctrinated Handmaid’s in Margaret Atwood’s “The Handmaid’s Tale.”
Squirrel—term used in Scientology to refer to those who alter Scientology technology.

Ofhubbard: Your name is no longer “Doris.” I shall call you…Ofsquirrel! I have found the child who was Taylor Swift in the previous lifetime. You shall be her tireless and devoted music tutor, in preparation for the day when she comes of age, and shall claim her past life intellectual property in court!

by wordery February 03, 2022

Ofhubbard

Character in “The Handmaid’s Dianetics” who gets kicked out of the Church of Scientology for claiming that the Hubbard Chart of Human Evaluation is scientifically inaccurate for classifying gay people as low on the emotional tone scale because she, who is high on the tone scale, has realized that she is gay. After trying to make it on the gay scene and discovering that her true love is a honeytrap hired by the Church to test her integrity, she cognites that she is not gay, and was only experiencing past life gender confusion. It turns out that she was not only a man in her previous lifetime-she was Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. After attesting to her completion and wins at weekly graduation, she resumes her role as ecclesiastic leader for Scientology’s greatest expansion yet.

“I, Ofhubbard, shall prevail.”

“Ofhubbard thought she was gay but then realized she wasn’t after she word cleared ‘gay’ in the dictionary.”

by wordery January 01, 2021