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Definitions by turdmeister

Benjamini 

A small Benjamin.

An exact replica of the original Benjamin in miniature form. Built to an approximate scale of 1:7, but with all the same domineering features.

Benjamini is to Benjamin as the net book is to the desktop PC.
Benjamini has Reubankle.
Benjamini by turdmeister July 28, 2009

shartoloading 

Shartoloading is the practice of consuming vast quantities of laxatives to aid sharting. It is commonly practised among professional shartists and competitors in martial sharts events.
"I have to shartoload for tomorrows martial sharts competition"

"Wow, that was a good shart!! Have you been shartoloading?"
shartoloading by turdmeister July 14, 2009
A titslap.

To be smeared by a pap.

To be beaten about the head by a large set of mammaries.

A near-lethal blow to the cranium, applied by one or more tits. Has the effect of changing one's facial expression very abruptly.

Can be used by females and Gibbses as a playful means of flirtation or foreplay with stout-hearted partners, or as a means of self defense in times of distress.
"Back off or I'll papsmear you!"

"She gave me such a papsmear, I'll have a tit imprint on my forehead for a week."
Papsmear by turdmeister July 13, 2009

Bokbagasie 

Pronounced: "Bok-ba-gaasie"

A large lump of uncertain origin located directly behind the ear. It causes the ear concerned to protrude at 90 degrees to the head. It ranges in size from about the diameter of a golf ball to that of a small melon.

There are varying theories as to the cause of this phenomenon, the most popular being that it is caused by partially digested fragments of swiss roll that take up residency behind the ear when there is no space for them in the belly.

The bokbagasie can be surgically removed, but this is not often done because of the extremely high rate of re-occurence. some bokbagasies have been known to re-occur as little as three hours after being removed.
"Hey bokkie, what did YOU see this morning...?"

"Bok-bok-bok-BAGASIE!!"

"My word, how radiant your bokbagasie is looking today"
Bokbagasie by turdmeister July 13, 2009

Sharte Blanche 

noun, plural shartes blanches  shahrts blanch, blahnch; Fr. shart blahnsh

1. Unconditional authority; full discretionary power to shart as you please. Usually granted after a heavy night of drinking, or the accidental consumption of high volumes of laxitives.

2. A pair of jocks that is blank except for a shart and given by the shartist to another person to wear as he or she pleases.

3. Cards. a hand having no face card but with a really shitty scoring value, as in piquet.
" Hung over today are we? Never mind, you have Sharte Blanche today"
Sharte Blanche by turdmeister July 13, 2009

Hardening of the sharteries 

When the scene of a shart is left unattended over an extended period of time the sharticles, or particles of shart begin to harden due atmospheric exposure.

This results in the shart forming a thin crusty lining in the jocks which although uncomfortable, is sometimes preferable to admitting to having performed the initial shart in the first place.
"I knew I should have changed after that shart. Now I've got hardening of the sharteries."

"Madeline is walking a bit gingerly today, maybe she's got hardening of the sharteries..."
a) halfway between a shit and a fart.
b) a wet fart
c) a fart that smells so bad it could actually be a shit.
Person 1: *farts badly*
Person 2: "Faaaak bru, that was a shart"

"Man I think I just sharted!"
Shart by turdmeister July 12, 2009