The greatest piece of electronic equipment ever invented, the iPod, since its release in 2001, has made easier the lives of music fans everywhere. Yeah right, hahahah. In reality, the iPod is a complete piece of horse feces. The day that mine broke was the best day of my life, and it was also 3 months after I bought the stupid thing. Ask any Ipod user and they will say that they spend more time sorting out the kinks with the piece of shit than they do actually listening to it. The only reason that iPods are so popular is that Apple has so much money to spend on advertising that pretty much the whole of north america and the u.k. don't bother to research alternatives. The average lifespan of an iPod is about 6 months, and these things cost about 3 times as much as the sansa e200's, which in fact are infinitely superior in design. The only good aspects of the iPod is that it has enough disk space to hold every song ever made,it can be used as a form of compensation for those cursed with small penises, and it's small enough to fit in your asshole, which is what most people become once purchasing an ipod. Undoubtedly the biggest waste of money and time since the invention of collectible action figures. I just want to add that I am the proud owner of a cd player, and my life became infinitessimaly more simple and happy once my iPod broke. The only way to ensure that an ipod does not break is to not take it out of the box.
Bill: Hey guess what? I just got an Ipod!
Joe: Oh, you poor fucker.
Bill: Here, you want to listen to some music on my Ipod?
Joe: *sigh, with a feeling of great sadness at the fact that his best friend has become an ipod zombie*
Bill: I'll take that for a yes. *pullign Ipod out of his asshole* Hey, why wont it turn on? How can the battery be dead? I charged it this morning! What's that it says on the screen? Oh my god, it says "congradulations, you are now the owner of an ipod, which now that you have tried to use it, will spontaneously combust"!
*ginormous boom as the ipod bursts into flames*
Bill: Aw, c'mon, I paid 500 dollars for this thing just to have it explode when I try to listen to Journey?
Joe: *Loads Journey cd into his cd player and walks away, slowly shaking his head.*
Joe: Oh, you poor fucker.
Bill: Here, you want to listen to some music on my Ipod?
Joe: *sigh, with a feeling of great sadness at the fact that his best friend has become an ipod zombie*
Bill: I'll take that for a yes. *pullign Ipod out of his asshole* Hey, why wont it turn on? How can the battery be dead? I charged it this morning! What's that it says on the screen? Oh my god, it says "congradulations, you are now the owner of an ipod, which now that you have tried to use it, will spontaneously combust"!
*ginormous boom as the ipod bursts into flames*
Bill: Aw, c'mon, I paid 500 dollars for this thing just to have it explode when I try to listen to Journey?
Joe: *Loads Journey cd into his cd player and walks away, slowly shaking his head.*
by three_cheers_for_trousers February 11, 2007