The act of being, and the official language of the douchebag. Douchebags can be recognized by their Ed Hardy attire, spiky over-gelled hair, spray-on tans, brostaches, failure to wear a shirt over their wife beater, and their strange vernacular. Use of words abbreviated like "legit" (legitimate) "ridic" (ridiculous) "jelly" (jealous, mostly used by the female species of douchebag) and most importantly YOLO (a word too douchey to to even define). They often refer to others of their kind as broski, and end their sentences with "yo".For them, dancing to songs like "gangnam style" and Ii'm sexy and I know it" is serious business, as they seem to believe they have "moves like Jagger". Often found in Jersey, douchebags are to be avoided at all cost. If, however, one finds themself unavoidably interacting with a douchebag it is recommended you use long words and DO NOT look directly at them. Prolonged exposure to douchebags has been known to cause douchebaggery in others. Run, fast and far, from a douchebag.
conversation spoken in douchebaggery
mike--hey broski, wanna hit the bar tonight? i heard the bitches are gonna be legit ridic down there tonight yo (rubs fake-tanned arms) and i am looking FRESH (checks out roided muscles in nearby window)
brad--yeah, brah, i can't wait to get my grind on some skanks. (he checks out roided muscles in nearby window) damn i'm swoled up yo, it's wife beater time for sure tonight yo.
mike, brad & tj--YOLO!!!
When a douchebag gets ready for an evening out on the town he wants to smell his freshest. Nothing in his arsenal of body sprays, lotions, colognes, deodorants and the like are as important as his "douchebag febreeze", aka AXE BODY SPRAY. A douchebag will thoroughly saturate themself with their AXE BODY SPRAY; they cannot use a normal amount, as they don't think it will be enough to keep them fresh throughout the evening. This is to be applied right before walking out the door, as the smell needs to be as strong as possible for interaction with the ladies. If ever you find yourself getting a whiff of what smell like hugh hefners balls dipped in kerosene, watch out; there is a douchebag on the prowl. Run, fast and far.
brad--i need to smell fresh tonight bro
tj--use my axe body spray broski, there's half a bottle left, is that enough?
brad--i guess it will have to be brah spray my swoled up muscles down
brad & tj--(fist pumping) fresh to death!!!
-brad & tj walk into club-
sara--mmm do i smell douchebag febreeze? that's my kind of guy!!
when your tits are narrow at the top, round at the bottom and hang flat down to your belly button
did you see tessa take her top off last night? damned if she didn't have some rabbit ear tits.
the worst smelling, dirtiest house on the block. residing inside is usually a fat, lazy person with poor personal hygiene. you can't see the carpet through the stains and taco bell wrappers. if you attended a party you would not feel bad if you messed something up, whether you spilled your drink or set the place on fire. dog smells are only one of a handful of unpleasant odors emulating from, well, everywhere. avoid this house at all costs.
did you go to that party last night at 42 hunter lane?
dude, you mean at the stank pit? hell no, last time i went to a party there i woke up with herpa-gono-syphyl-aids, and a fat bitch sitting on my face