the evil steve's definitions

buy their razor

Sports-related: to knock a team out of playoff contention. Derived from the tendency for sports teams to grow their beards during the playoffs as a sign of team unity.

The Chargers bought the Titans their razor(buy their razor) last night by pounding them 42-17 in Tennessee, knocking the Titans to 7-8 and completely out of the playoff chase.

by The Evil Steve December 26, 2009

only when I'm pregnant

A male person's definitive "never" response. Puts to rest the relentless drunk friend-of-friend who tries to force you into a flase confession.

Drunk FoF: "Dude, would you ever consider nailing Snooki?"
Dude: "No."
Drunk FoF: "Not even if your were drunk?"
Dude: "Never."
Drunk FoF: "Even if you're drunk, horny, and she's playing with your balls?"
Dude: "Only when I'm pregnant."

by The Evil Steve November 16, 2011

Nibbenmilf, Land of

Combination of the terms NBN and MILF which describes a mythical realm dripping with perpetually horny drop-dead gorgeous women between the ages of 35-50. Some upper-middle-class planned suburban communities bursting at the seams with trophy wives may qualify, but most of us will only see them on TV or in the movies.

Fairview from Desperate Housewives may be the mythical Land of Nibbenmilf.

by The Evil Steve August 25, 2005

epidemic

1. (dictionary) Widespread contagion, usually a bacteria or virus, that kills or severly sickens a large number people in a particular geographic area.

2. (American Media) Half-assed drug or dumbass activity that kills a couple suburban white kids, usually in the Baltimore area for some reason.

1. The SARS epidemic of 2003 killed hundreds and hospitalized thousands in China and Toronto.

2. Stone Phillips reporting on the highway surfing epidemic... Ashleigh Banfield to follow with an expose on the paint-huffing epidemic.

by The Evil Steve September 5, 2005

size 9'd

Having one's anus forcefully, repeatedly and not-always-voluntarily resized. Size 9ing is most often performed courtesy of one's new cellmate's johnson, although at some parties, a proper piss-on / pass-out may elicit the act.

Guy 1: "Why is Shiela walking all funny?"
Guy 2: "She got Size 9'ed after passing out face down on the couch at Bob's party."

by The Evil Steve August 30, 2005

chesticles

1) Reference to the confidence, or "balls", in dealing with men afforded to ladies with ample frontage.

2) Sweater puppies, cat heads, bazooms, etc.

1) Linda demanded an explanation from the boss for turning down her expense reports - she's really testing her chesticles!

2) Guy 1: Yo! Check out the chesticles on the redhead!

Guy 2: Ahoy, Cap'n! The SS Brassiere's front torpedo bays are armed, loaded and ready for battle!

by The Evil Steve September 5, 2005

beer coaster

Tattoo on the small of a woman's back, usually roundish with rays or flames and two colors (green and/or red will be invovled most often), located precisely where a guy should set his beer while nailing her doggie style. Most prevalent with porn stars, wannabe porn stars, biker chicks, drrrty grrrls, and suburban fluff chicks who want everybody to think they're hard.

Gents - Are you horny? Then hit the club and scout for chicks with the Bar Slut Hat Trick - crop top, low-rider pants or skirt, and beer coaster tatt on display. (Tight jeans with high heels also a good indicator.)

by The Evil Steve September 6, 2005