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the evil steve's definitions

buy their razor

Sports-related: to knock a team out of playoff contention. Derived from the tendency for sports teams to grow their beards during the playoffs as a sign of team unity.
The Chargers bought the Titans their razor(buy their razor) last night by pounding them 42-17 in Tennessee, knocking the Titans to 7-8 and completely out of the playoff chase.
by The Evil Steve December 26, 2009
mugGet the buy their razormug.

only when I'm pregnant

A male person's definitive "never" response. Puts to rest the relentless drunk friend-of-friend who tries to force you into a flase confession.
Drunk FoF: "Dude, would you ever consider nailing Snooki?"
Dude: "No."
Drunk FoF: "Not even if your were drunk?"
Dude: "Never."
Drunk FoF: "Even if you're drunk, horny, and she's playing with your balls?"
Dude: "Only when I'm pregnant."
by The Evil Steve November 16, 2011
mugGet the only when I'm pregnantmug.

epidemic

1. (dictionary) Widespread contagion, usually a bacteria or virus, that kills or severly sickens a large number people in a particular geographic area.

2. (American Media) Half-assed drug or dumbass activity that kills a couple suburban white kids, usually in the Baltimore area for some reason.
1. The SARS epidemic of 2003 killed hundreds and hospitalized thousands in China and Toronto.

2. Stone Phillips reporting on the highway surfing epidemic... Ashleigh Banfield to follow with an expose on the paint-huffing epidemic.
by The Evil Steve September 5, 2005
mugGet the epidemicmug.

MILF

Acronym meaning Mother I'd Love to Fuck. Used to describe a physically / sexually attractive woman of an age likely to have teenage sons of her own (generally 35-50). Term widely used by said teenage sons, most often in reference to each other's mothers. When with their Boyz, they joke about MILFs... privately, they go home and fap themselves rotten thinking about the MILFs they just joked about.
"Dude... J-Dogg's moms got an ass you want to eat lunch from! Total MILF!"
by The Evil Steve August 24, 2005
mugGet the MILFmug.

tardillion

A number so friggin' huge that it's beyond stupid - it's retarded.
Congress just passed another spending bill giving 695 tardillion dollars to the lobbies that paid for their election campaigns.
by The Evil Steve March 14, 2009
mugGet the tardillionmug.

IF

Verb: To fail a class due to incompete coursework - often listed as I/F on grade reports. Common plight of the second semester college freshman finally hitting his/her party schwerve.
Dude! I totally forgot I registered for these three classes... I totally IFfed the bastards. Shit! Oh, well - pass the bong.
by The Evil Steve September 5, 2005
mugGet the IFmug.

ditto monkey

A person who vapidly, unthinkingly yet wholeheartedly repeats, shares and takes to heart phrases and ideas he/she hears from his perceived leader. Most often (OK, damned near exclusively) applied to followers of right-wing media magnates like Rush Limbaugh, Michael Savage Weiner, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, et al. A ditto monkey is often a raging dullard who can't normally put two syllables together without a paper clip, yet when the topic of their idol's specialty comes up (usually politics), his eyes glaze over and he eloquently spews words you know he couldn't otherwise possibly understand.
"Oh great... E-mail from Patrick. Hideous spelling, every fourth word in ALL CAPS, punctuation looks like a typewriter threw up, and he's blaming the weather on the Clintons. What a flippin' ditto monkey!"
by The Evil Steve August 24, 2005
mugGet the ditto monkeymug.

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