The most vile, insipid, sanity-destroyingly horrible genre in the history of cinema. The romantic comedy is a genre of movie, usually mainstream, that follows a fairly consistant formula: boy meets girl, silly shit happens, low-intensity comedy insues, mild disasters averted, boy and girl get married and live happily ever after, the end. This formula never changes, for if there were the slightest deviation, it would not ba a romantic comedy. This genre exists solely for the entertainment of obnoxious, highly sentimental housewives who feel that their gender must consign them to this terrible fate. For them, to be feminine is to be an obnoxious, hand-wringing milksop. This is similar to the viewpoint among men that to be masculine is to be an obnoxious, belligerent neanderthal who crushes beer cans with his forehead. Romantic comedy is cinematic anti-matter. It is the opposite of art, and can not, by nature, be creative or original in any way. Romantic comedies are as plentiful as they are unbearable, due to the consistent market for sappy, brain-dead entertainment. A watcher of romatic comedies never gets tired of the same plot, over and over and over again, and therefore can watch the same movie, with subtle variations, thousands of times over a lifetime, viewing each new clone as if it were the first.
People of average intelligence are advised avoid this genre if at all possible, as it has been known to cause severe drowsiness, ennui, brain leakage through the ears and, in rare cases, extreme homicidal rage.
People of average intelligence are advised avoid this genre if at all possible, as it has been known to cause severe drowsiness, ennui, brain leakage through the ears and, in rare cases, extreme homicidal rage.
DVD's of previous years' romantic comedy hits are best suited for use as a cheap and durable paving and flooring material, and are of about the right size to be used as targets for archery and riflery practice.
I re-tiled my bathroom floor with surplus copies of You've Got Mail, and at half the cost of ceramic tile!
I re-tiled my bathroom floor with surplus copies of You've Got Mail, and at half the cost of ceramic tile!
by the birds and trees October 01, 2006

by the birds and trees October 18, 2008

It's a rubber sheath that you wear over your penis whenever you have sex. To be used every time, no exceptions. Available at most drug stores and convenience stores, in a variety of sizes. If used right, it will prevent pregnancy. Something everyone would use if humanity were not the terminally retarded species it is.
The Pope doesn't want you to wear condoms. Isn't that rich? An elderly former Nazi who has never had sex wants to tell you how to have sex, and you are going to listen to him? Incredible, our species is doomed.
by the birds and trees March 01, 2008

Living together with several different sex/romantic partners. To have multiple girlfriends or wives, all of whom know about each other and live in the same house. Polygamy.
Originated thousands of years ago as a means of producing a large number of offspring, and as a status symbol, to show off how many women and children a man could afford to provide for, and to display virility. Now banned in most countries, but was once common practice, even in early Christendom: Charlamagne had multiple wives.
The word was recently popularized by one Ricky Lackey, a convicted thief who, when asked by the judge at his trial how many children he had, replied: "None now, but I have six on the way." When the judge asked if he was marrying a woman who had six children, he replied "No, I be concubining." Meaning, of course, that he had 6 girlfriends, all of whom were pregnant.
Originated thousands of years ago as a means of producing a large number of offspring, and as a status symbol, to show off how many women and children a man could afford to provide for, and to display virility. Now banned in most countries, but was once common practice, even in early Christendom: Charlamagne had multiple wives.
The word was recently popularized by one Ricky Lackey, a convicted thief who, when asked by the judge at his trial how many children he had, replied: "None now, but I have six on the way." When the judge asked if he was marrying a woman who had six children, he replied "No, I be concubining." Meaning, of course, that he had 6 girlfriends, all of whom were pregnant.
Judge: "Do you have any children?"
Lackey: "No, but I have six on the way."
Judge: "So, you're marrying a woman with six children?"
Lackey: "No, I be concubining."
Lackey: "No, but I have six on the way."
Judge: "So, you're marrying a woman with six children?"
Lackey: "No, I be concubining."
by the birds and trees October 22, 2007
