22 definition by stu in the zoo

verb. to give away. named after jon kitna, the former seattle, cinci and now lions quarterback who has made an art form of giving footballs and games away.
"i saw that pile of old clothes in your garage, what's up with 'em"

"aw, i'm gonna jon kitna 'em to goodwill"

by stu in the zoo April 30, 2007

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named after the former receiver of the usc trojans, detroit lions, and most recently, the oakland raiders. mike williams gained word association with these less than glamorous words largely in part to the manner in which he stole millions of dollars from two nfl franchises while arriving late to nearly all team functions, sleeping through meetings, over-ingesting hostess snack foods and forgetting how to play the position of wide receiver.
"hey guys, we missed you at work yesterday. where were you?"

"aw man, i mike williams'ed a fifty out my moms purse, bought some mushrooms and took a day off."

"you man, i woke up, got high and mike williams'ed a whole box of little debbies. i was in no shape to come to work."

"you know mr ford fired you two idiots. what are you gonna do now?"

"shit, we was talkin'... we'll probably go down to the state building and see if we can get some food stamps. who needs work if you can get on the mike williams pay plan?"

by stu in the zoo June 26, 2007

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one who shoots fire from his penis if for no other reason than immortal super powers explained or otherwise. one who shoots electrical current from his penis for reason tied to and not tied to use of barbiturates in conjunction with pabst blue ribbon. one who can jump start a diesel front end loader with his penis.
yo, dude give yer girl the shocker?

eff no, dude IS the shocker.
by stu in the zoo April 25, 2006

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verb - to get wit (in a non sexual way).

to hang one-on-one with someone, burn copius amounts of weed, do pills, homemade drugs, abuse chemicals found at most wal-marts and listen to jay z (for effect).
"yo, deng, check that tite faux-naggah with thems sweet-ass reeboks he touches up with white spray paint.... think i'n gonna see if he gotz any crunk snort and wantsta bro down."

"shit dung heezah, them aint reeboks"
by stu in the zoo January 18, 2007

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slang. recently became the official replacement for "polish a turd" in the ever popular phrase "you can't polish a turd".

while you still can't srt-4 a turd, many think that by paying the hourly goons at ye olde dodge factory to glue a turbo-charger to a silly dodge neon engine it will in fact create a glossy finish on a piece of feces. the car is intended for bedwetters and dog dick rubbers who can't afford a real car like a honda s2000, bmw m-series or acura tl type-s or aren't smart enough to properly affix a turbo-charger to a car that isn't already named "neon". the srt-4 phenomenon is basically the same as the 1980's dodge goons putting a faux-leather, glue on top(attempting to look like a convertible) to a dodge aries k-car and calling it a chrysler lebaron. again, this car was very popular with the recently gay but familiar with broke crowd.
"wowie zowie leroy, that white girl you are courting is one seriously ugly girl."

"don't sweat is mister anderson, my sistah works at glamour shots and this saturday we gonna srt-4 her up."

"gee leroy, that's swell. </vomits>"
by stu in the zoo January 19, 2007

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a korean imitation guitar.

a prop that you'll see guys like Slash hold in an advertisement but never within 800 feet of him on stage.

a suitable instrument for guys taking a break from the clarinet.
"oh my shit, i thought you told me good charlotte was good..?..?"

"shut up dude, they are like the best band since like, smashing pumpkins or ah-ha"

"the fuck they are, the guitar tone sounds like a korean whore shitting out a miniature chainsaw.... not to mention, they're all playing goofy things that have les paul or sg bodies but silly little head-stocks that are meant to look like flattened out gay penises."

"those are epiphones and they rock way super hard"
by stu in the zoo February 11, 2008

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1- non-hetero hack painter with a white-guy afro.

2- anyone who buck's up and goes through life happy despite the fact that everything around them is shit (like being a non-hetero hack painter with an afro, for example).
"hey timmy, you look down. you okay, girl?"

"yeah, i hooked up with this dude from my youth group last night. he was tossing my salad and i accidentally shit on him."


"yeah, my life is shit but i'm gonna bob ross it anyway."

"way to think happy thoughts, timmy."
by stu in the zoo April 22, 2007

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