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q359's definitions

woo-woo

(Sometimes shortened to just "woo") A catch-all term for all the non-scientific, magical-thinking, mystical bullshit that human beings the world over believe in, that should have been dispensed with a LONG time ago by anyone with half a brain, but annoyingly still persists into the 21st century. Includes tarot, astrology, crystal vibrations, fortune telling, reiki, alternative medicine, ghosts, Ouija boards, palm-reading, seances, homeopathy, and all other similar flavors of total horseshit. Importantly, does NOT include religion, because religion is a whole other, higher echelon of irrational thinking that is its own separate category.
Dumbass: I aligned my third, fourth and seventh chakras on the cusp of Taurus and communed with my dead ancestors, who told me that you will have good fortune in the coming year. Now give me your money, please.
Rational Person: Get out of here with that woo-woo shit.
by q359 July 25, 2023
mugGet the woo-woomug.

99.999999%

A completely unscientific, pulled-out-of-the ass statistic that people use that is not based on ANY actual statistical research, when they want to assure you that their very bullheaded, highly-opinionated conclusion is true ALMOST all of the time, but oh-so-humbly admit that there is an infinitesimal, but non-zero, chance of a case happening where they might be wrong. Sometimes people keep it simple and just say 99%, but feel free to add more nines after the decimal the more smug and self-assured you want to sound. A way of having it both ways, and saying "I believe that I am right all the time!" without TECHNICALLY saying that you think you're right ALL the time.

According to the Internet, an ASTOUNDING number of things are true 99.9999999999% of the time.
Dumbass: Sure, it's technically true that someone could be fat because of genetics or glandular issues, but 99.999999% of the time, it's because they're a lazy piece of shit who won't put down the cake.
by q359 July 24, 2023
mugGet the 99.999999%mug.

emotional support animal

A completely idiotic, 100% crock-of-shit psychological movement that caters to emotionally-stunted, entitled adult children who can't do basic life errands without having an animal buddy by their side at all times, and disingenuous shitbirds who like to co-opt the language of disability to abuse loopholes in order to have pets where pets are not allowed.
What do you mean, I can't bring a fully-grown adult crocodile on an airplane? It's my emotional support animal, you're being ableist!
by q359 July 24, 2023
mugGet the emotional support animalmug.

God-botherer

An annoyingly religious person. Does NOT just mean anyone who is religious/believes in God, but minds their own business and is a decent person. God-botherers are people who do not shut the fuck up about their religion, whine about profanity and sexuality in everyday culture like it's 1950, worry too much about what other people are doing, think the reason for teen pregnancy is that we don't have enough prayer in schools, and try to get their religion written into law, and binding even upon non-believers, because they don't understand the concepts of separation of church and state, and a pluralistic society.

"God-botherer" is actually a GREAT insult, because it implies that even assuming that their God is real, they even bother God with their bullshit, God Him/Her/Them/Itself is even like "You guys need to chill out".
I said "God damn it" in a Facebook comment and some God-botherers came at me telling me that I was wicked and going to Hell for using blasphemous language, so I told them that Mary was a slut who loved taking it in the ass, just to watch them have a REAL meltdown.
by q359 July 25, 2023
mugGet the God-botherermug.

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