27 definitions by plus-size albert

A small southern California city in Los Angeles County. It has a population of 20,000 and life here is somewhere in-between living in a charming small town, and EVERYTHING WRONG with a suburb. It's filled with nice but clueless adults and cool but sketchy teens. If many people would take five seconds to look away from the big houses and palm trees, you would see that it's not uncommon to find a used needle next to the sidewalk or have a bottle thrown at you while walking through a parking lot.
"Agoura Hills, CA has excellent schools! :)" - Clueless parent
by plus-size albert November 21, 2020
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A type of kid in either middle school or high school in art class that is either a bored popular kid who had a class open so they just chose art. Or they are mentally ill drama queen that complains about their "anxiety" and gets hostile if you ask them anything about their past.
"Why's that kid yelling at nothing?"
"I don't know, he's probably an art kid"
by plus-size albert January 3, 2021
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A person from California who is conservative and gung - ho. A personality that contradicts the typical Californian
"I love California but I've never really fit in"
"Yeah, you're just a California cowboy"
by plus-size albert May 23, 2021
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A middle-aged white male that (usually) lives in a Southern California suburb. They are slightly overweight with a chubby face and balding. They will wear a baseball cap with sunglasses, short-sleeve shirt, cargo shorts, white socks with sneakers. They spout liberal propaganda any chance they get (which is strange because they come off as strict). They are often completely clueless about the world around them, because they will read a random statistic off of the local newspaper about how their community is "the safest in the tri-county area" and they will take it as fact and then lecture kids about how "good they have it" no matter how many incidents of crime affect those kids or show up in their neighborhood. And when it happens they often will brush it off as "kids being kids" because they did that when they were younger so they think it's normal. A California Dad is one of the most useless people you will ever meet.
"Did you tell your dad about how you had a bottle thrown at you?" - friend #1

"Yeah but he just said 'ThAts wHat TEenagers dO!'. To be honest, I think he did that crap as well." - friend #2
"He's such a California dad" - friend #1
by plus-size albert December 29, 2021
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A place in Agoura Hills, CA where all of the wannabe-gangsta-brainlets of the area go to do god-knows-what. The "city" itself is the underside of the road bridge in the Avalon condo-complex. It consists of a large graffiti-covered wall, random pieces of trash, and torn-up furniture that each have their own stories.

In order to get to this spot you must travel to the edge of Chumash park (near the condos to the south of the baseball diamond), enter the ravine where Medea Creek flows, and walk through the plants and trees along the left wall for a little over a minute, and you will reach G city.

While the majority of it's visitors are dumb high schoolers looking to waste their lives away, some pretty sketchy characters are known to lurk here,
"Yo wanna go to G city?"
"For sure dude I got kush."
by plus-size albert December 18, 2020
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An LA County Sheriff's department station in the southwest pocket of Los Angeles County that acts as the police department for Calabasas, Agoura Hills, Malibu, and Westlake Village. It employs either overly friendly mom/dad characters or dumpy cold fish types that think they're in the military.
Punk teen: "What're your badge numbers and what're your names?!"
Lost hills cop: "My name's Deputy Diestel 48781, I work at Lost Hills Sheriff Station"
by plus-size albert November 21, 2020
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A school district in the southwest pocket of Los Angeles County, CA (Agoura Hills, Westlake Village, Calabasas, Eastern Conejo valley). It has many glaring problems. Including, but not limited to, the higher-ups being so hippie-dippy that they do not having ANY security at any of their schools. The only "security" that the schools have are the local sheriff's deputies, who could care less about their jobs because they are completely powerless. It's also famous for having abusive teachers who will scream at you for just accidently wandering into the teacher's lounge, or will yank your arm around because you aren't understanding a math problem. Though they don't get in trouble, because when something happens, they just get transferred to a different school like aggressive killer whales at sea world. The principle of Lindero Canyon Middle School was transferred, not because of business reasons, but because of how much she bullied kids and just didn't do her job correctly. In fact, I think she got PROMOTED. The teachers who aren't straight-up abusive are far-left commies that will shove "America bad" propaganda down your throat any chance they get. Students who do things like...... THROW WATER AT TEACHERS, DO get arrested by the school cop, but they are allowed to show up in class the next day so that the school can maintain it's "blue ribbon schools" status. If you are able to survive any of the schools belonging to this district, then you have my FULL respect.
"LVUSD is a great school district!" -clueless soccer mom
by plus-size albert January 3, 2021
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