27 definitions by plus-size albert

The region of California that is everything north of San Jose. It is MOSTLY untouched from the rest of California's chaos and is the only conservative and beautiful place left in California. It consists of pine tree covered mountains, peaceful suburban towns (like Redding, CA), and abandoned buildings that are prime for urban explorers. Unfortunately, the California plague doesn't stop evolving, so the beautiful forests that everyone knows and loves will be burned down in the next 10 years
"I'm from California." - Californian

"Oh don't you go vote blue now, ya hear?!" - Texan

"Don't worry I'm from Northern California" - Californian
"What's the difference? - Texan
by plus-size albert December 23, 2020
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A neighborhood in the eastern part of Agoura Hills, CA. It is known as the original "Agoura" community before it became an official city in 1982. It is a bizarre mixture of mansions, miniature farms where people raise horses, and dimly lit warehouses where high schoolers will do burn-outs. For anyone who doesn't own a horse or car, it is hell to get from A to B without twisting your ankle, this is because the area has no actual sidewalks. As "peaceful" as the area seems during the day, it actually has the highest crime rate in the eastern Conejo valley. This is mainly because of it's no streetlight policy, which makes it pitch-black at night. Thus, allowing low-lifers from the SF valley to break into cars and slip away into the night. This also allows Agoura High students to commit most of their shenanigans here. So you will be cruising by white-picket fences with people brushing horses, turn a corner, and see an ENTIRE wall tagged with random graffiti, or you'll be chilling in your backyard and hear tires screeching a block over. Of course, the adults are clueless about this and it'll be up to you to keep your valuables safe. Although the Brightside is, it has lots of great hiking trails, so that you can twist your ankle faster :).
"You know, Old Agoura actually has the highest crime rate in Agoura Hills." - teen
"Oh no it doesn't! You kids don't know how good you have it!" - clueless adult
by plus-size albert December 21, 2020
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The neighborhood of eastern Agoura Hills, CA. It is an area of the city reserved for farmhouses and horse owners. It is filled with bored-wannabe-gangster teens and cowboys. It has the highest crime rate, not just in Agoura Hills, but in the whole area due to the no street-light policy, which is in place to reduce light pollution, making it easier for people to get away with things without being seen. It has no sidewalks, which makes it very difficult to get from A to B without twisting your ankle (speaking from experience). It is also surrounded by dimly-lit warehouses and office buildings making it even more prone to sketchy characters from the highway and Agoura High-schoolers to committing thugery in the 69th degree. Beside that, it's really nice in the day, though.
"Wanna hang out in Old Agoura?" -dude #1
"Nah, someone stole my bike" -dude#2
"Again?!" -dude#1
by plus-size albert November 29, 2020
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A middle school in Calabasas, CA. It is known as the much more awful version of Lindero Canyon Middle School. It's famous for it's abundance of mentally ill students. For whatever reason, A E Wright tends to pump out students that threaten to hurt themselves or others either just for attention or they actually DO IT and it becomes a whole thing.

In fact, it is a common trope at Agoura High School that the drug-addicted burnouts of Agoura High come from Lindero Canyon Middle School, and that the mentally ill nut-cases come from A E Wright.
Talking about a kid from A E Wright Middle School:
"Did you hear what that kid did in art? Apparently he had a nervous breakdown!"
by plus-size albert January 3, 2021
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Also referred to as "The A Hill" is a hill that overlooks Agoura High school as well as the city of Agoura Hills, CA. On the top of the hill is a large, wood "A" that is randomly painted a different color every so often by Agoura High students that have WAY too much pride in their underfunded, drug infested school.
"What're you doing?"

"We're going to paint the Agoura A in our class colors!"
"Oh... Ok, have fun I guess" *whispers* "Losers..."
by plus-size albert December 21, 2020
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A Highschool in Agoura Hills, CA. Attending this place is a punishment. Once you have dodged the insane soccer moms in their vans that are larger than their asses, you must sit in multiple overcrowded classrooms over the course of 7 hours. All while SJW teachers talk their theories at you on why white people are bad. When you've survived that, you will be lucky to find your bike still chained up. Because there is a 60% chance that it will be stolen by one of the many wannabe thugs that plague the school and the surrounding neighborhood. HAVE FUN!
"Agoura High school is gonna be the greatest time of your life!" - Literally all of the middle school teachers in the area.

NEWSFLASH: it's not
by plus-size albert November 21, 2020
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A small southern California city in Los Angeles County. It has a population of 20,000 and life here is somewhere in-between living in a charming small town, and EVERYTHING WRONG with a suburb. It's filled with nice but clueless adults and cool but sketchy teens. If many people would take five seconds to look away from the big houses and palm trees, you would see that it's not uncommon to find a used needle next to the sidewalk or have a bottle thrown at you while walking through a parking lot.
"Agoura Hills, CA has excellent schools! :)" - Clueless parent
by plus-size albert November 21, 2020
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