Fastidiotypocrite

A person (typically of the male persuasion) who is meticulously concerned about accuracy or detail except when it comes to something known as “adulting”. This person is incredibly competent in some areas of their life - particularly when it comes to work or social activities - are often described as the “life of the party,” and people perceive that "they have it all”. The fastidiotypocrite is very quick to point out inconsistent or illogical actions in others but has a blind spot when it comes to their own illogical shortcomings. These significant, hypocritical, and often idiotic blinders are most evident in the areas of household executive functioning, including but not limited to the following: cooking, grocery shopping, noticing messes, cleaning up messes, starting household projects, finishing household projects, and needing step by step directions spoken or written at a third grade or below reading level. Fastidiotypocrisy is also marked by a jarring lack of awareness of all social aspects of hosting that are generally understood as common courtesy.

Ex; Fastidiotypocrites often suffer from something known as “not knowing how good they have it”. They are usually blessed with extremely attractive, very intelligent, incredibly witty, and highly competent partners who spend so much time compensating for the fastidiotypocrite's shortcomings that the fastidiotypocrite stops recognizing that shortcoming altogether, or comes to believe that the household run itself.

After shopping, cooking, hosting a party, and cleaning up, I asked my fastidiotypocrite partner to unload the dishwasher. Every few dishes, he paused to ask what it was and where it went. (Sometimes following up with the imbecile question "do we actually need this?") How can he create strategy at work, yet after 10 years of living together, he can't strategize on where to find the Tupperware cupboard?

by pitathetoykitten January 09, 2023