Lydon

Lai-djunn n.

One who speaks in inverted commas or italics, i.e. to sound unintentionally sarcastic at all times irrespective of whatever degree of sincerity might might be intended.

(Named after John Lydon a.k.a. 'Johnny Rotten').
"My dear... I really 'enjoyed' that meal... I can honestly say that it was the 'finest meal' I have eaten for days."

"Sir - may I take it that you are a Lydon... for if so, I do not appreciate the jest!"

"Nay madam, I jest not... and your culinary skill is only surpassed by your unfading beauty."

"Ye git - now I know you're taking the piss!"

From "The Importance Of Being Sarcastic" By Oscar Wired.
by Neil Baxter October 12, 2005
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warner

Person who pretends to be a 'Goth' or 'Sweaty' 24/7m but removes all the metalgear and make-up when in the presence of Mom & Pop prior to going out for an evening meal.

Named after Brian Warner a.k.a. Marilyn Manson, who looks TOTALLY DIFFERENT without make-up and contact lenses!
"Did you see Jim the other day in the library? I couldn't believe it - the guy's a REAL Warner!"
by Neil Baxter September 24, 2005
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snurch

z.nerr-ch

To sniff back a noseful of snot because either you haven't got a handkerchief or you're just too lazy to blow your nose.

This is the opposite of a "Pitmon's Hankie", whereby you press a thumb or finger against a nostril and blow forth snot through the other one onto the pavement.
"Stop snurching and blow your nose you derty get... I'm trying to eat me dinner here!"

From "Biggles Grebs Aloft" by Monty W. Bungingham
by Neil Baxter November 01, 2005
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Dink Dank Doo

Supposedly newly-coined 'Northern' English Catchprase with little or no meaning that is copied and quoted ad nauseum throughout the U.K.

Taken from the character 'Paddy' in the excellent 'Phoenix Nights' and later from the unbelievably dire 'Max & Paddy's Road To Nowhere', this phrase replaced the often uttered "Booyakasha" comment known throughout our septic isle.
"Hey Paddy... I've got two fingers in me Twix... and as I'm quite full, I'll let you have one."

"Oh hey? What a guy! Paddy likes Twixes, Paddy does! You'll 'dink dank doo' for me, me auld flower!"

From: "The Script To Nowhere" (Channel 4)
by Neil Baxter September 24, 2005
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pandagoth

PANDAGOTH (n.) Pander-khoth

1. Overweight female with a penchant for dark make-up - similar in looks and build to a bear-like mammal... usually accompanied by a VERY attractive (yet anaemic looking) female friend, the Pandagoth makes up for her lack of sexual appeal by wearing a combination of the following:

a.) A 'Slipknot' hoodie.
b.) Black lipstick.
c.) Thick-framed glasses.
d.) 'Army' style boots.
e.) A weedy looking youth with a pseudo-beard hanging from her arm.

Pandagoths often 'sell-out' during their college years and become librarians, serial killers or lecturers.
"Chewie... I can't see pal... what's that? Pandagoths? Where? Ya gotta help me ol' pal... don't let them get me!"

"Grrwwwwwrrrrraaarrrrdddgghhhhh!"

(Excerpt from "The Pandagoths Strike Back")
by Neil Baxter September 23, 2005
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brough

Berr-uff (n.)

The low sonorous fart that starts off sounding like a burp but ends up 'fizzling out' at the end... can often be affected by following through and therefore should be attempted only when sat on the toilet.
Wooster laughed.

"You may think this bally foolish of me Jeeves, old sport, but yesterday I risked a brough over at the Twamley's residence... Bally lucky I hadn't eaten the pea soup, what?"

"Indeed sir" replied the snooty butler.

From "Sniff That Jeeves" by F.U. Shithouse.
by Neil Baxter October 08, 2005
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Poose

POOSE (n.) "Pewse"

Colloquial Scots term for 'cat'.
"Cam tey grips, ye wee raj - yer poose has shat ayl awaer ma livin' rhume!"

From "McCatSpotting" by Irwin Scots.
by Neil Baxter September 23, 2005
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