Article of linen sewed by one's grandmother with which inadequate kissers practice necking because they lack the balls to go out and get some real world experience.
Said Doug, "Gee, as long as I have a soggy pillow in my bed, I'll never get to do the horizontal tango!"
The best friend of a terrible Hungarian kisser who is too afraid to go and get some real-world practice.
Doug's pillow was damp after a long, strenuous night of rehearsing, and while he thought he'd made progress, the pillow was of the mind that Dude'd never get to do the horizontal tango at this snail-like pace.