Definitions by martin duxon

fart art 

Generally speaking, the term 'Fart Art' relates to the abstract contemporary art formed by the human arse at its most creative - usually involves brown, green or yellow paint of entirely organic origin, combined with an explosive, resonant fart. Fart Art is not often on public display, but common galleries for this particar form of artwork tend to be the inside of bog bowls or discarded underwear. Most Fart Artists are male for some obscure reason, although occasionally fart artisans of the female variety can be found amongst the ranks of students.

"I just got over a bout of dyssentry, but duuude! Did I blow some fart art!"

fart art by Martin Duxon September 17, 2003

shyster

Shyster is derived from the German term scheisser, meaning literally “one who defecates,” from the verb scheissen, “to defecate,” with the English suffix -ster, “one who does,” substituted for the German suffix -er, meaning the same thing.

Generally used to describe someone who is untrustworthy, money grabbing and full of crap, particularly in the field of legal work for some reason.

My lawyers are a bunch of shysters

shyster by Martin Duxon September 4, 2003

Irn Bru Poo 

A condition arising after drinking too much of the soft drink "Irn Bru". Has the unusual effect of rendering your stools into particularly pungent dark, dense iron-like ingots that cut through the bog water as though it wasnt there, often producing considerable splashback and chipping the porcelain.

"I went to drown the chocolate slugs but it turned out to be a turd so big it couldnt be dispensed without vocal assistance, a groaner"

Irn Bru Poo by Martin Duxon August 8, 2003

xylophone 

To move along a line of naked women who are all bending down, and spank their bottoms - which are of varying sizes - with one’s penis; to play a tune on women's buttocks. From the Greek xylo meaning ‘wood’ and phonnicus meaning ‘to hit tunefully’

xylophone by Martin Duxon August 8, 2003

under thunder 

Violent rectal belching of the arse’s natural kak gases which erupt from the fart fissure.

under thunder by Martin Duxon August 8, 2003

anal announcement 

To fart; the diction of friction caused by a passage of foul air through vibrating buttocks.

2. noun. A passage of said arse-speak; German rhetoric; a bottom burp; beef; poot; air biscuit; under thunder.

anal announcement by Martin Duxon August 8, 2003

turdis 

One of those detatched, modern, portable space age looking public conveniences

I went into the Turdis for a Doctor Who

turdis by Martin Duxon August 8, 2003