8 definitions by long

Top Definition
A nonexistent girlfriend (not that internet service schtick). I have one of these. The pros far outway the cons. No dates to remember, no birthdays, so you can basically be a slob and get away with it. If you give her some interesting problems, she'll really be 3 dimensional. Mine's a kleptomaniac and a narcissist.
Mom: Where are all your pens?
Me: Bonnie must have stolen them.
Mom: Who the hell's Bonnie?
Me: Exactly.
by Long June 08, 2005
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A country smart enough to use the press and psychological victories to beat the American military.
America loss the war in Vietnam because they didn't realize they were fighting a relatively unmodernized country
by Long March 21, 2005
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A day clouded by the wonderful effects of heroin. Also a Lou Reed song.
I'm having a perfect day today, at least til the smack wears off.
by Long April 16, 2005
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Someone who is probably never gonna get laid.
Guys like me always come in second
by Long March 21, 2005
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Sexual position used when you find a frozen caveman, defrost him and have sex with him.
The Rock and Tumble is on a reel in the cutting room floor of a geico commercial.
by Long February 13, 2005
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a sexual position so mysterious, that after using it, you wake off the jersey turnpike with a sundress on. it is a very dangerous thing to attempt.
I remember the last time I gave my girlfriend the ole double handed booty slammer. It took me a month to hitchhike home.
by Long February 12, 2005
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Noun - Happiness; ability to look on the bright side of life
Can also be used as an Interjection
"He was beginning to lose his shpadoinkle"
Shpadoinkle!
by Long March 07, 2004
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