laserswordofdeath +3's definitions

Mommy Pee break

The time when kids get up to the craziest things, run amok and tear the house down. Usually happens when the mother has to relieve her bladder.
Can lead to rooms being destroyed and/or infanticide.

Candice: "Omfg! I was in the bathroom for ONE MINUTE! And when I came back, the plasma TV is broken on the floor, the ADSL cable had been chewed off, my two year old is covered in body cream, there is food on the ground and the dog is spraypainted green!"

Jacques: "Sounds like your standard Mommy Pee Break. Seriously, if the house was not set on fire and your kids are still in one piece, you count yourself lucky"

Candice: "What?! You think this is funny? WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I DO ALL DAY?

Jacques: "Calm down, it's okay, I'm..."

Candice: "DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN YOU SON OF A BITCH! I KNOW WHAT YOU DID WITH ELAINE!"

Jacques: "Wait, what, who told you?!"

Candice: "I FUCKING SAW YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

Jacques: ...

by laserswordofdeath +3 April 19, 2018

chocolate ball cheerleader

A person who deliberately wipes back to front

I love going down on my man, especially after a stomach bug. He is a real chocolate ball cheerleader - adds that little extra!

by laserswordofdeath +3 September 8, 2016

Poverty Weight Loss Plan

A strict non-eating plan based around the fact that you are broke, and losing weight as a result

Wow! Being underpaid sure has its benefits! I have lost six pounds this month due to the Poverty Weight Loss Plan! And the good news is, looking at my bank account, I can carry on until next payday!

by laserswordofdeath +3 September 8, 2016

rug puncher

Someone who likes to do vaginal fisting

After giving natural birth to twins, Jenny's husband became a regular rug puncher

by laserswordofdeath +3 September 8, 2016