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l.martin's definitions

GROWN AND SEXY

Ebonics for:"Don't even think of showing up at my function in
in baggy jeans,Air Jordans,platinum chains,bandanas,and 3x white t-shirt.If you're not custom tailored,Armani or Versace-stay your ass home!...Also unless it's neo-soul,rare groove,or old school-you won't hear it here.Want radio hip-hop?Go to that white kids' club in the suburbs...And approach a Sista'with a little finesse.Leaning up against your homies' Escalade does not constitute "having game"...feel me?"
RADIO ANNOUNCER: "FUNK JAZZ WEDNESDAYS at the ICE HOUSE LOUNGE
in downtown.Doors open at 10PM.This party is for the GROWN AND SEXY."
by L.MARTIN December 5, 2005
mugGet the GROWN AND SEXYmug.

LAPDOG

A 20something man who lands a hot female his age or slightly older.(no more than 5 years)He's muscular,pretty,and fucks the daylights outta her.Too bad he's broke.She's out whoring around with "WEALTHY MEN WHO CAN..."but has LAPDOG for emotional comfort and workouts at the gym.He don't really wanna know what the deal is 'bout that nice condo and the Porsche Boxster.All relationships are temporary...and this one's no different:She'll either
dump him when "MR.BIG STAMPS" decides to take her private...
Or when he returns to being ALPHA DOG as opposed to safe LAPDOG.
GYM RAT 1:"Wassup wit'Dylan and that chick he trains with?
He don't hang wit' us no mo'."

GYM RAT 2:"Yeah...Never seen homie play LAPDOG like this
before.Must be pussy whipped."
by L.MARTIN October 30, 2005
mugGet the LAPDOGmug.

BROTHA TROLL

A White mid-30's to mid-40's female who's way into Black Men.This chik may be married or divorced.She's at least upper middle
class.She's looking at her comfortable/accomplished life and asking herself:"What have'nt I done?" The answer comes in the form of a dark,ripped personal trainer at her local gym-for starters.She wants to sample THE SOUL POLE. Brothas take note:Treat this trick just like you treat your chicken heads.That is... minimal public exposure(if any) and gut crunching MANDINGO sex.Remember-when she was 22,tight,and really really fuckable,you and your ilk were'nt even on the menu.If her daughter is street legal...turn two.SPEND.NO. MONEY!
JEANETTE THE REAL ESTATE BROKER:"I have'nt seen you in morning yoga lately...but you're looking incredibly fit."

CORINNE THE RANGE ROVER DRIVING MILF:"New cardio program."

JEANETTE HISSES TO KELLY AS CORINNE WALKS AWAY:"She's such a fucking BROTHA TROLL!

KELLY WITH ARCHED EYEBROW...SLIGHT SMILE:"Hmmm."
by L.MARTIN September 25, 2005
mugGet the BROTHA TROLLmug.

HOLLYWOOD PROMISE

A worthless promise made to induce the desired behavior or manipulation.
AGENT:"Dammit Harvey! My clients' a wreck.I thought we left
that meeting with her in the lead with Brad Pitt."

HARVEY:"Sorry Ari.It was solid until Angelina saw her pictures
and balked.Forced her to take the role.Mishuga as that
may be...it worked.My bad about the HOLLYWOOD PROMISE
there...maybe I can get your girl a music video and
a Maxim cover.See 'ya at The Ivy."(click)
by L.MARTIN September 26, 2005
mugGet the HOLLYWOOD PROMISEmug.

THE IVY

One of a handful of LA restaurants where wannabe actors pretend
to be flush with cash...and proceed to max out their credit cards...in the futile hope that one of the true POWER DINERS will bother to give them the time of day.Sorry kid.He notices
you like he notices the waiter...only when he's annoying.
ACTRESS/MODEL/WAITRESS/YOGA CHIK:"Hey Tina...wanna go dutch on
lunch at THE IVY tommorrow?"

TINA:"Sure.We can go in my newly
leased Bmer.That way we can
valet."
by L.MARTIN September 26, 2005
mugGet the THE IVYmug.

GUILTY

What you are presumed to be by the legal industrial complex,the press,and casual observers if you are man...and a woman or a child accuses you of wrong-doing.
1)In order to deny custody to a father-and generate income-a woman has as part of her state-sponsored arsenal the ability to:
A)Have consensual sex with you...then claim rape.(you're GUILTY)
B)File a restraining order against you for any reason
including you just going to pick up the last of your stuff.(DITTO)
C)Convince the kid to tell Johnny Law that you were abusive.(" ")
D)Take your money and not document it's proper use.
TESTOSTERONE:It's not just for men anymore.
by L.MARTIN July 5, 2006
mugGet the GUILTYmug.

Diamond Cutter

PORN SLANG FOR A MALE PERFORMER WHO IS ABLE TO MAINTAIN A HARD ERECTION THROUGH THE ENTIRE SCENE.
"LEX WHIPPED OUT THE BIG DIAMOND CUTTER ON LITTLE BRIANNA.SHE GOT WIT' IT.GOOD FOOTAGE.PUT HER EYE OUT WITH THE MONEY SHOT."
by L.MARTIN September 15, 2005
mugGet the Diamond Cuttermug.

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