l.martin's definitions
TITLED AFTER FRANK ZAPPA SONG:Someone who makes impulsive, grand scale decisions involving large amounts of money-(usually other peoples')...Facts,consequences and reality be damned.Cocaine is'nt always involved.It just looks that way.
ENRON EXEC.1:"Let's just set up a state-of-the-art trading floor.We'll find something to trade on it later."
ENRON EXEC.2:"What?Are you tootin' rails?That's the most COCAINE DECISION I've ever heard. We'll all go to jail!
ENRON EXEC.3:"Dammit play ball!...I have options on 1,000,000
shares.They vest if it looks like we're doing something."
ENRON EXEC.2:"What?Are you tootin' rails?That's the most COCAINE DECISION I've ever heard. We'll all go to jail!
ENRON EXEC.3:"Dammit play ball!...I have options on 1,000,000
shares.They vest if it looks like we're doing something."
by L.MARTIN December 10, 2005
Get the COCAINE DECISION mug.SPORTS FAN 1:"Did you see Ed Reeds' PICK SIX off Tom Brady last week?"
Sports Fan 2:"Hell yeah!The Ravens'season is over.Might as well play spoiler."
Sports Fan 2:"Hell yeah!The Ravens'season is over.Might as well play spoiler."
by L.MARTIN November 17, 2005
Get the PICK SIX mug.The biological certainty that your wife,heavy-duty girlfriend,significant other-will guiltlessly fuck someone wealthier and/or more famous than you...should the opportunity
present itself.Remember:She thinks she coulda' done better.
present itself.Remember:She thinks she coulda' done better.
WIFE:"Honey...is'nt that Derek Jeter over there at the table in the corner?"
HUSBAND:"Sure is!Go Yankees!"
WIFE:"Gotta go to the ladies room."
HUSBAND OF SECOND COUPLE IN DINING FOURSOME:"While you're in there...tuck your GROUPIE GENE back in.It's showing!"
WIFE OF SECOND COUPLE IN DINING FOURSOME:"I'll go check on her."
HUSBAND:"Sure is!Go Yankees!"
WIFE:"Gotta go to the ladies room."
HUSBAND OF SECOND COUPLE IN DINING FOURSOME:"While you're in there...tuck your GROUPIE GENE back in.It's showing!"
WIFE OF SECOND COUPLE IN DINING FOURSOME:"I'll go check on her."
by L.MARTIN October 14, 2005
Get the GROUPIE GENE mug.A White mid-30's to mid-40's female who's way into Black Men.This chik may be married or divorced.She's at least upper middle
class.She's looking at her comfortable/accomplished life and asking herself:"What have'nt I done?" The answer comes in the form of a dark,ripped personal trainer at her local gym-for starters.She wants to sample THE SOUL POLE. Brothas take note:Treat this trick just like you treat your chicken heads.That is... minimal public exposure(if any) and gut crunching MANDINGO sex.Remember-when she was 22,tight,and really really fuckable,you and your ilk were'nt even on the menu.If her daughter is street legal...turn two.SPEND.NO. MONEY!
class.She's looking at her comfortable/accomplished life and asking herself:"What have'nt I done?" The answer comes in the form of a dark,ripped personal trainer at her local gym-for starters.She wants to sample THE SOUL POLE. Brothas take note:Treat this trick just like you treat your chicken heads.That is... minimal public exposure(if any) and gut crunching MANDINGO sex.Remember-when she was 22,tight,and really really fuckable,you and your ilk were'nt even on the menu.If her daughter is street legal...turn two.SPEND.NO. MONEY!
JEANETTE THE REAL ESTATE BROKER:"I have'nt seen you in morning yoga lately...but you're looking incredibly fit."
CORINNE THE RANGE ROVER DRIVING MILF:"New cardio program."
JEANETTE HISSES TO KELLY AS CORINNE WALKS AWAY:"She's such a fucking BROTHA TROLL!
KELLY WITH ARCHED EYEBROW...SLIGHT SMILE:"Hmmm."
CORINNE THE RANGE ROVER DRIVING MILF:"New cardio program."
JEANETTE HISSES TO KELLY AS CORINNE WALKS AWAY:"She's such a fucking BROTHA TROLL!
KELLY WITH ARCHED EYEBROW...SLIGHT SMILE:"Hmmm."
by L.MARTIN September 25, 2005
Get the BROTHA TROLL mug.A 20something man who lands a hot female his age or slightly older.(no more than 5 years)He's muscular,pretty,and fucks the daylights outta her.Too bad he's broke.She's out whoring around with "WEALTHY MEN WHO CAN..."but has LAPDOG for emotional comfort and workouts at the gym.He don't really wanna know what the deal is 'bout that nice condo and the Porsche Boxster.All relationships are temporary...and this one's no different:She'll either
dump him when "MR.BIG STAMPS" decides to take her private...
Or when he returns to being ALPHA DOG as opposed to safe LAPDOG.
dump him when "MR.BIG STAMPS" decides to take her private...
Or when he returns to being ALPHA DOG as opposed to safe LAPDOG.
GYM RAT 1:"Wassup wit'Dylan and that chick he trains with?
He don't hang wit' us no mo'."
GYM RAT 2:"Yeah...Never seen homie play LAPDOG like this
before.Must be pussy whipped."
He don't hang wit' us no mo'."
GYM RAT 2:"Yeah...Never seen homie play LAPDOG like this
before.Must be pussy whipped."
by L.MARTIN October 30, 2005
Get the LAPDOG mug.AGENT:"Dammit Harvey! My clients' a wreck.I thought we left
that meeting with her in the lead with Brad Pitt."
HARVEY:"Sorry Ari.It was solid until Angelina saw her pictures
and balked.Forced her to take the role.Mishuga as that
may be...it worked.My bad about the HOLLYWOOD PROMISE
there...maybe I can get your girl a music video and
a Maxim cover.See 'ya at The Ivy."(click)
that meeting with her in the lead with Brad Pitt."
HARVEY:"Sorry Ari.It was solid until Angelina saw her pictures
and balked.Forced her to take the role.Mishuga as that
may be...it worked.My bad about the HOLLYWOOD PROMISE
there...maybe I can get your girl a music video and
a Maxim cover.See 'ya at The Ivy."(click)
by L.MARTIN September 26, 2005
Get the HOLLYWOOD PROMISE mug.One of a handful of LA restaurants where wannabe actors pretend
to be flush with cash...and proceed to max out their credit cards...in the futile hope that one of the true POWER DINERS will bother to give them the time of day.Sorry kid.He notices
you like he notices the waiter...only when he's annoying.
to be flush with cash...and proceed to max out their credit cards...in the futile hope that one of the true POWER DINERS will bother to give them the time of day.Sorry kid.He notices
you like he notices the waiter...only when he's annoying.
ACTRESS/MODEL/WAITRESS/YOGA CHIK:"Hey Tina...wanna go dutch on
lunch at THE IVY tommorrow?"
TINA:"Sure.We can go in my newly
leased Bmer.That way we can
valet."
lunch at THE IVY tommorrow?"
TINA:"Sure.We can go in my newly
leased Bmer.That way we can
valet."
by L.MARTIN September 26, 2005
Get the THE IVY mug.