l.martin's definitions

BARN FIND

The fantasy of collectors everywhere-(mostly automotive)-that they'll stumble upon a mint condition vintage 'Benz or Ferrari
in a barn or airplane hangar somewhere between N.Y/L.A....owned by someone just happy to get rid of it.Uh-huh.

COLLECTOR:"My 300SL Roadster was a BARN FIND from an estate sale on a river town in Southern Indiana.Family was just happy to be rid of the thing at 90k.Imagine that!"

COLLECTOR 2:"Enough with your fish stories!Even in desperation
nobody let's that rig go for less than 300K.There's photos of you at Barrett Jackson last month anyway."

by L.MARTIN October 14, 2005

ED HARDY

A tragically hip LA Based clothing brand.The brand started the new wave of urban hipster fashion along with CHROME HEARTS,AFFLICTION,JUICY...etc.Has come to signify an ability to overpay for loudly colored clothing.Has become a status signifier amongst BMER/BENZ driving club kids who still live at home.Cougar MILFS can be seen wearing it on bonding trips to the mall with their sociopath offspring. The preferred clothing of the DOUCHEBAG GENERATION.

NEWPORT BEACH/UCI HOTTIE:"My mom's in Aspen...but she just leased me this new C-CLASS-and left me the Amex for some shopping."

MUSCULAR TATTED OUT ACTOR WANNABE LOSER BOYFRIEND WITH HIDEOUSLY SPIKED HAIR:"Kewl! let's go down on Melrose.
I need a new ED HARDY tee."

by L.MARTIN December 29, 2007

CHROME HEARTS

An apparel and jewelry line that welds biker/film industry/trailer park culture into one expensive "FUCK YOU I'VE GOT MONEY" sign.Thousand dollar sunglasses...Eight grand leather jackets...Ten Grand and up shine...And of course the face-saving three hundred dollar trucker cap in case you just have to walk out of the store with something.

L.A. TOURIST:"I thought you were taking me to a hot club.This is a damn biker bar...And who are all these people wearing sunglasses at 1am?"

LOCAL:"Well the guy who just passed you was Tommy Lee.It's a CHROME HEARTS crowd.Leave the camera in your purse."

by L.MARTIN August 4, 2006

PICK SIX

AMERICAN FOOTBALL: An interception returned for a touchdown.

SPORTS FAN 1:"Did you see Ed Reeds' PICK SIX off Tom Brady last week?"

Sports Fan 2:"Hell yeah!The Ravens'season is over.Might as well play spoiler."

by L.MARTIN November 17, 2005

COCAINE DECISION

TITLED AFTER FRANK ZAPPA SONG:Someone who makes impulsive, grand scale decisions involving large amounts of money-(usually other peoples')...Facts,consequences and reality be damned.Cocaine is'nt always involved.It just looks that way.

ENRON EXEC.1:"Let's just set up a state-of-the-art trading floor.We'll find something to trade on it later."

ENRON EXEC.2:"What?Are you tootin' rails?That's the most COCAINE DECISION I've ever heard. We'll all go to jail!

ENRON EXEC.3:"Dammit play ball!...I have options on 1,000,000
shares.They vest if it looks like we're doing something."

by L.MARTIN December 10, 2005

DIAMOND COMMERCIAL

When a man does something stupid a/o embarrasing a/o frivolous
for the "LOVE" of a woman.

OIL TRADER:..."So we're walking through the park...and we drop a blanket on the grass at the amphitheater...and as I
poured wine for us,I had JEFFREY OSBOURNE come out on stage and sing LOVE BALLAD...at which point I presented her with a 4ct. rock.-and a proposal.Cool,yeah?"

ARMS DEALER:"That is so fucking DIAMOND COMMERCIAL.Don't repeat it to anyone else.Congratulations."

by L.MARTIN December 5, 2005

Diamond Cutter

PORN SLANG FOR A MALE PERFORMER WHO IS ABLE TO MAINTAIN A HARD ERECTION THROUGH THE ENTIRE SCENE.

"LEX WHIPPED OUT THE BIG DIAMOND CUTTER ON LITTLE BRIANNA.SHE GOT WIT' IT.GOOD FOOTAGE.PUT HER EYE OUT WITH THE MONEY SHOT."

by L.MARTIN September 15, 2005