l.martin's definitions

Stamps

BIG MONEY...HAVING AN ARROGANTLY LARGE BANK ACCOUNT.THE KIND OF WEALTH YOU COME TO AT A REASONABLY YOUNG AGE THAT LEADS YOU TO DO THINGS THAT OTHERS GOT TO MUCH LATER IN LIFE I.E.LUXURY BOXES AT THE BALLPARK...HOMES IN ASPEN...MISTRESS ACCOUNTS.

1)"HE'S RAKIN' HEFTY STAMPS AFTER CATCHING THE ENTIRE RUN-UP IN CRUDE OIL."

2)"YEAH SHE FOYNE...BUT YOU KNOW SHE CHECKIN' THAT WALLET FO' STAMPS.HI MAINTENANCE HO'."

3)SURE HE TALKS A GREAT GAME...BUT DOES HE HAVE THE STAMPS TO WRITE A CHECK?

by L.MARTIN September 15, 2005

SUNTIN'

Old school southern ebonics.
How country folks say the word "something".

"Now Junior,you gots ta' do SUNTIN'.You
gon' get a job...or you gon'go to school...but you cain't sit around an' do NUTTIN'.You gots ta' do SUNTIN'."

by L.MARTIN September 7, 2005

FUCK YOU NUMBER

The financial number at which you can opt not to work.It's different for everyone...but generally speaking...if you buy into the "American Way of Life"...that number is somewhere around 5million liquid.At that point-you have a barrier against "the unforseen"(illness/injury)...or the fully known. (divorce/criminal children)Hefty appettite for booze,sex,and gambling?Triple that number.

Between his ex-wives,children,and jet set travel-James the attorney has a higher FUCK YOU NUMBER than Joe the plumbing contractor.

by L.MARTIN September 26, 2005

SNOWBLIND

The almost freakish obsession that second and third generation young women from the the Far East,Pacific Islands,and the Carribean have for dorky...socially inept...cornball white guys.(It's never the cool ones.)He's "safe"...he's got a professional gig...he digs Toyota Camrys.How exciting.

BLACK GUY 1:"Think I'll go over chat up that hot Korean babe."

ITALIAN GUY 2:"Save it.She's so SNOWBLIND that she masturbates to Bill Gates posters."

by L.MARTIN October 17, 2005

REVERSE MAIL-ORDER

A 40-50something western-educated doctor/engineer/venture capitalist who marries...or arranges to marry an American white girl.He is usually Indian,Persian,or Arab and smitten with things Western.She's usually 30something,educated,sorta hot in that"polished babe" kinda way.

BANKER 1:"See Mahmoods' new bride? Rather attractive blonde.
Wonder what his family thinks."

BANKER 2:"REVERSE MAIL-ORDER.Wonder if she's been to dinner
yet."(mild chuckle)

by L.MARTIN October 27, 2005

INTERNET DATING REALITY

While many beautiful women may post their profile and picture on an internet dating site...the only ones that you MR. AVERAGE JOE HETEROSEXUAL will hook up with are the 5's...and SINGLE MOTHERS.The 8,9,10 girl has her picture up for ego-grat
purposes.She's only available if you can somehow PROVE INCOME.
You know what I mean.

HONEST DRINKIN' BUDDY #1:"It's been awhile.I just had to clear the pipes.Hooked up with this cute single mom off MATCH.Not goin' back."

HONEST DRINKIN' BUDDY #2:"Yeah...I'm doin'okay now but awhile back I found myself in bed with this gnarly 5 off MYSPACE.I guess that's just INTERNET DATING REALITY."

by L.MARTIN January 15, 2006

CADDY

A 30something to 50something man of modest to respectable accomplishment who lands an attractive but no longer hot
female.She's either been buried in her own professional
accomplishments and finally looked up to find those men she
competes with are only interested in "young n'tight"...Or she's badly overplayed her hand and now finds that the trips to Tahiti and leased Benzos are'nt part of the picture anymore at that 30something range.In steps the CADDY.To him-she's quite a catch.To her-he will just have to do."Here...hold my purse while I try these shoes on."

CHICK:"Alberto!...how nice to see you!(hug)Hope everything is
well."
CADDY:"Who was that?"
CHICK:"Just a dear friend from my investment banking days in
New York.Don't forget my shopping bags."

by L.MARTIN October 30, 2005