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PATERNITY TEST

Something that should be state law in all 50 states.When you consider that fully one third of ALL live births involve a man
other than the man alleged to be the father on the birth certificate...It would appear to serve justice and streamline the legal system if the real father is known from the get-go.
Not so.The state-and the legal industrial complex are just interested in tagging any convenient sucker with the bill.DO NOT be pressured to sign the birth certificate.Even if you "KNOW" that baby is yours...get the little saliva based test kit and BE SURE.Unless of course you don't mind paying for someone else's kid.
HOMIE 1:"Yesterday my girl got pissed at me and said that little RAY RAY ain't mine.What if she's tellin' the truth?"

HOMIE 2:"How long y'all been together?"

HOMIE 1: "Coupla' years."

HOMIE 2:"Can't help 'ya.The law says that's your baby.
Shoulda' PATERNITY TESTED sometime within the first year.Sixteen years left.Have fun."
by L.MARTIN September 3, 2006
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DON KING MOMENT

Many talented people are very smart and good at what they do.Unfortunately they're very dumb about everything else...especially money.Don King knows this about fighters when he walks them into a conference room...has an assistant
open a briefcase with 100grand in it...and tells the fighter it's his as an advance for signing on with him.You've never seen that much money before.Of course-as your career takes off-you begin to realize that his "management fees" make the taxes look small.This does'nt just happen to atheletes.
Bill Gates...or Terry Semel...or Barry Diller...wants to "take a meeting"with you.He offers you 100 million for your company ...and "total control" before you even sit down. You try to avoid choking on your coffee.All those years in your cubicle at 80 grand a year.Of course you bite...and watch helplessly as you find that "total control" means you can leave work early on Friday.His henchmen then take your baby and turn it into a multi-billion dollar market leader...or more likely destroy
it before it destroys them.Classic DON KING MOMENT.
by L.MARTIN February 3, 2006
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BARN FIND

The fantasy of collectors everywhere-(mostly automotive)-that they'll stumble upon a mint condition vintage 'Benz or Ferrari
in a barn or airplane hangar somewhere between N.Y/L.A....owned by someone just happy to get rid of it.Uh-huh.
COLLECTOR:"My 300SL Roadster was a BARN FIND from an estate sale on a river town in Southern Indiana.Family was just happy to be rid of the thing at 90k.Imagine that!"

COLLECTOR 2:"Enough with your fish stories!Even in desperation
nobody let's that rig go for less than 300K.There's photos of you at Barrett Jackson last month anyway."
by L.MARTIN October 14, 2005
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ED HARDY

A tragically hip LA Based clothing brand.The brand started the new wave of urban hipster fashion along with CHROME HEARTS,AFFLICTION,JUICY...etc.Has come to signify an ability to overpay for loudly colored clothing.Has become a status signifier amongst BMER/BENZ driving club kids who still live at home.Cougar MILFS can be seen wearing it on bonding trips to the mall with their sociopath offspring. The preferred clothing of the DOUCHEBAG GENERATION.
NEWPORT BEACH/UCI HOTTIE:"My mom's in Aspen...but she just leased me this new C-CLASS-and left me the Amex for some shopping."

MUSCULAR TATTED OUT ACTOR WANNABE LOSER BOYFRIEND WITH HIDEOUSLY SPIKED HAIR:"Kewl! let's go down on Melrose.
I need a new ED HARDY tee."
by L.MARTIN December 29, 2007
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CHROME HEARTS

An apparel and jewelry line that welds biker/film industry/trailer park culture into one expensive "FUCK YOU I'VE GOT MONEY" sign.Thousand dollar sunglasses...Eight grand leather jackets...Ten Grand and up shine...And of course the face-saving three hundred dollar trucker cap in case you just have to walk out of the store with something.
L.A. TOURIST:"I thought you were taking me to a hot club.This is a damn biker bar...And who are all these people wearing sunglasses at 1am?"

LOCAL:"Well the guy who just passed you was Tommy Lee.It's a CHROME HEARTS crowd.Leave the camera in your purse."
by L.MARTIN August 4, 2006
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RICH WHITE GUY

This isn't about skin color so much as it's about the way we discriminate in these modern times:INCOME,EDUCATION,CLASS.
It's a mindset that thinks a million dollars for a one room condo is a bargain...that paying a thousand dollars for two
30 dollar bottles of vodka and a place to sit comfortably is just a good night out...that 1500 dollar an hour pussy is somehow better than 300 dollar an hour pussy...that bidding up the price on goods and services somehow puts you a cut above everyone.
Famous RICH WHITE GUY practitioners:
>P.Diddy
>Michael Douglass
>Oprah
>Brioni
>Bugatti
>Trump
by L.MARTIN January 15, 2006
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BROTHA TROLL

A White mid-30's to mid-40's female who's way into Black Men.This chik may be married or divorced.She's at least upper middle
class.She's looking at her comfortable/accomplished life and asking herself:"What have'nt I done?" The answer comes in the form of a dark,ripped personal trainer at her local gym-for starters.She wants to sample THE SOUL POLE. Brothas take note:Treat this trick just like you treat your chicken heads.That is... minimal public exposure(if any) and gut crunching MANDINGO sex.Remember-when she was 22,tight,and really really fuckable,you and your ilk were'nt even on the menu.If her daughter is street legal...turn two.SPEND.NO. MONEY!
JEANETTE THE REAL ESTATE BROKER:"I have'nt seen you in morning yoga lately...but you're looking incredibly fit."

CORINNE THE RANGE ROVER DRIVING MILF:"New cardio program."

JEANETTE HISSES TO KELLY AS CORINNE WALKS AWAY:"She's such a fucking BROTHA TROLL!

KELLY WITH ARCHED EYEBROW...SLIGHT SMILE:"Hmmm."
by L.MARTIN September 25, 2005
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