51 definitions by keifermail
Acronym- Come to Jesus Moment! Usually an unexpected and over exciting life cahnging experience similar to watching your dog get run over or seeing your girlfriend kiss another guy.
"I bit into that habernero and had a CTJM."
by keifermail July 27, 2008
The day after Ruthie said Barack Obama was Osama Bin Laden's first cousin, she pulled it up on Wikipedia and proved that she had read it. We all knew that she went home and wikiwashed the Barack Obama profile.
by keifermail July 27, 2008
I went to donate some sperm and she handed me a cup and said "Please manually express semen into this cup.' I was like, "Speak English lady."
"Go jack your dick and come into this cup," she said.
"Go jack your dick and come into this cup," she said.
by keifermail July 12, 2009
n. a drunks belief that no harm will befell them whilst engaged in risky behavior. Usually directly correlated to the amount of alcohol consumed. Not to be confused with Drunk Luck whereas most drunks are able to avoid injury when in accidents.
"Once he got his Beer Vest on, he jumped from the roof into the shallow end of the pool."
"Billy spent half the night putting on his Beer Vest, then he jumped off the dock and wrestled the gator."
"Billy spent half the night putting on his Beer Vest, then he jumped off the dock and wrestled the gator."
by keifermail July 28, 2008
Masturbating, jerk off, choke the chicken, spank the monkey, beat the meat, whacking the pug, etc. etc.
Manually stimulating your penis with your hand to achieve orgasm.
Manually stimulating your penis with your hand to achieve orgasm.
by keifermail July 12, 2009
N. Choke the chicken, manhandle the salami, whack off, spank the monkey, manually express semen, beat the meat, shake hands with your one-eyed best friend. To master your own domain.
"First thing I did when I got home was whack my pug. I swear I ain't never going to another cheer leading competition."
by keifermail July 12, 2009
A secret phrase between two men at a social gathering or sporting event where they can alert the other that a chick with nice breasts is in the vicinity without alerting those around them. The term is simply boob minus an o. Boob-o=bob.
1st Dude: "Hey look there's Bob!" (Points at breast)
2nd Dude: "I am so glad he could make it. I was worried he wouldn't."
2nd Dude: "I am so glad he could make it. I was worried he wouldn't."
by keifermail July 12, 2009