7 definitions by jpeterman

Over privileged and under-talened British singer, who probably believes that her success in the music world is as a result of a wonderful voice and incisive lyrics, rather than as a result of her just being a great piece of ass who parades herself in hot pants and semi-transulcent vest tops.

A metaphor for anyone who believes their personal success in life is down to anything other than the way they look.
Example 1:
Office Jock 1: Jeez, Marilu climbed the corporate ladder pretty quick.

Office Jock 2: Yeah, and she thinks it's down to actual ability. What a Pixie Lott.

Example 1:
Roadie 1: Who's gear is this we're shifting?

Roadie 2: Just some slag who thinks she famous for her singing and songwriting; you know, like Pixie Lott.
by jpeterman September 5, 2009
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Derived from the disturbingly young American singer, meaning any girl who is clearly looking and acting many years above her age. Her first single Get Out (Leave) is the classic case in point, apparently about a 14 year old conducting a relationship with all the faux emotion and stormy angst of an abused middle aged wife.
"Look at that little Jojo - barely a freshman, but she's already dated half the football team, and is busy stressing about which Gucci handbag to carry"
by jpeterman July 12, 2006
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Soon to become another byword for "music business exploiting teens and forcing them to grow up way, way too fast", along with the sordid "Jojos" and "Joss Stones" of this world.
For example, her initial song "Sweet About Me" proclaims, in fact, that there is "Nothin' sweet about me", but the video proves otherwise. The 16 year old Gabriella is seen prancing around in an alluring black vest, truly betraying her age with tits, eyes and lips which would put any Lolita to shame, demonstrating quite the contrary: There is plenty sweet about her, and not much of it necessary legal.

Similarly, the rest of her debut album is largely cock-tease, with most of the songs either about men, being fucked, being "terrifying to men" (even though most 16-year old females would admit to being the contrary), and peppered by law-busting titles like "Cigarettes and Lies", even though young Gabriella herself is disallowed from buying butts in most countries around the world.
Guy 1: Oh look, there's Gabriella Cilmi banging on about how there's nothing sweet about her, even though every straight bloke on the planet would happily bang their semen into her sweet jailbait ass.

Guy 2: Hell yeah. I wish she'd put the microphone down and do porn instead. She ain't Amy Winehouse.
by jpeterman June 12, 2008
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Popular British term to decribe a girl who, in answer to the male "lad culture" of the 1990's, bizarrely adopted the exact same behaviour as the men

they claimed to be reacting against - mainly drinking pints of lager, swearing and vomiting publicly, and watching football, all conducted with

exaggerated zeal. Interestingly, the behaviour of the ladette played into the hands of the lads, as not only did the ladette's alcohol consumption make

them easier pick up targets, the lads wouldn't have to switch off the football while they later had sex with them.

Popular and media friendly ladettes of the time were the likes of Zoe Ball and Sarah Cox, who counterpointed their frequent lad-mag bikini spreads with

bouts of public drunkeness, especially when there was paparazzi around too capture it.

The ladette tag was ultimately doomed to failure when the likes of Cat Deeley, Billie Piper, Jayne Middlemiss and Denise Van Outen jumped on the

bandwagon - established media whores, known principally for their looks - and the transition from Ladette to Spring Break Girls Gone Wild was


The interesting footnote is that the ladette arguably exists now more than they ever did at the height of their popularity ten years agp, only now

they're simply referred to more accurately as "drunk sluts out looking for cock", which had always been the case anyway.
Ladette: Oh, look at me, I'm so drunk, hee hee hee.
Group Of Men: Great, now we can all fuck you.

Ladette: Why didn't the guy in the black shirt try to score there?
Lad: Because he's the fucking referee you dumb slut, now shut up and suck on this.
by jpeterman July 12, 2006
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White female who tends only to date black guys.
Based on the porn star of the same name who speacialises in interracial porn, claiming to be the web's first "black cock only slut".
Spring Thomases usually fall into one of the following categories:

1. An out and out slut who simply loves cock, committed to the belief that black means bigger, rougher, and therefore better for her overall requirement. See example 1 below.

2. A prissy little rich kid who eats the black meat to piss daddy off for selfish gain. See example 2 below.

3. A hippy girl who considers herself to be "culturally curious", who thinks that sleeping with black guys is some social experiment, putting herself in touch with her supposed earthy ancestral roots. See example 3 below.

4. A dumb-ass middle-class white chick who sees black guys as fashion accessories. See example 4 below.

5. A variation to this is the "Part time Spring Thomas":
A white chick who'll go out and revenge fuck a black guy just to get one up on her cheating (white) boyfriend. See example 5 below.

Despite the various reasons for being a "Spring Thomas", they are all united by their ability to be simultaneously offensive to both Caucasians and African Americans.
White chick: "Fuck me harder cotton picker"
Black dude: "Keep that shit up bitch and I'll break this ass in two, you little Spring Thomas".
White chick: "Mmmm... yeah!!" (push back, push back)

Country Club Member 1: "Gee Todd, my daughter's datin' a black dude."
Country Club Member 2: "Heck Josh, maybe it's time to buy her that Mercedes Benz. You don't want her to become a Spring Thomas."

Black dude 1: "You seen that hot hippy chick moved in across the street?"
Black dude 2: "Hell yeah, me and Simon spit roasted it last night".
Black dude 3: "Sweet man, a white chick with dreads - I knew she'd be a real Spring Thomas."

White bimbo 1: "Hey-ya Sara, what ya doin'?"
White bimbo 2: "Crusin' for black guys - Mischa Barton and Paris Hilton have both been seen with one".
White bimbo 3: "Ooo, you little Spring Thomas, hee hee hee hee".

White guy 1: "Shit dude, I know I cheated on Jane, but she didn't have to go and take black dick up her ass."
White guy 2: "Relax guy, she's just being a part time Spring Thomas, she'll be back eating white bread before you know it."
by jpeterman July 5, 2006
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Barbie doll teenage pop singer, cynically marketed as a serious and mature soul artiste. Contrary to popular belief and marketing hype, not actually from the mean streets of Harlem or Detroit, but from the nice middle class suburb of Kent in England.
Not that you'd realise this from her songs or videos, which usually feature her in some massive New York loft apartment wailing about her boyfriend who is twice her age.
Another in a long line of teenage singers irresponsibly promoted as serious adults and mature idols to their teenage fanbase who ultimately will be committing mass suicide or downing truckloads of Prozac when they realise that life is not all groovy Soho lofts and laid back hippy chick love.
Average Person 1: Shouldn't Joss Stone in school right now?
Average Person 2: Nah, her record company are making a shitload of money out of passing her off as a soul singer.
by jpeterman July 13, 2006
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Typically dumb female with an otherwise normal name, who shortens or substitutes her name and ends with an "i", under the mistaken belief that this will make her look more interesting and "kookier". It does, in fact, only makes her look like a silly slut who'll do anything to catch men's attention.

For example:

Mandy - Mandi
Susan - Suzi
Margaret - Maggi
Nicola - Nikki

An extreme example of this is the "double I-Slut", where two "ii"s are used instead of just one, rendering the female even sillier and slutier. Often seen with hearts dotting the i's.
Example 1:
Jennifer was thinking of changing her name to Jenni, but was worried about looking like an i-slut.

Example 2:
Office Jock 1: This hot new chick called Kristii has started is temping at our office this morning.
Office Jock 2: Oh man, a double i-slut!! Have you fucked her yet?
by jpeterman July 5, 2006
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