masturbation. But you sit on your hands first until they are numb and then it feels like someone else is doing it for you.
by jamfsob August 12, 2003
As Carol was surfing the crimson tide, she thought that wearing white trousers, roller skating and jumping out of aeroplanes like in the Bodyform commercials was probably NOT actually a good idea
by jamfsob August 12, 2003
a woman who has a really gorgeous body but who has a dodgy voice and a minging face so the only way you can bring yourself to fuck her is if you stick gaffa tape (duct tape) over her mouth and a paper bag on her head
by jamfsob August 06, 2003
a person who looks really attractive from a distance so you are blatantly ogling them with your tongue hanging out so that they notice you at the same time as they get close enough to realise that they are actually butt ugly
by jamfsob August 11, 2003
Vaginal juices, also known as fanny spladgem. Slightly onomatopaeic as if the woman is wet enough,spladgem is reminiscent of the noise when you enter
Sarah was sat on my lap with no knickers on and when she got up, I was left with Fanny Spladgem all down my leg
by jamfsob August 12, 2003