floorfly's definitions

Pill-Lattes

When desperate housewives mix Lattes with pain killers to get through their day.

I find Pill-Lattes helps me stay mentally in shape. I take one one skinny sugar free vanilla no foam latte with a hydrocodone then drop the kids off at school, and then I go to book club or the Y until its time to pick the kids back up.

by floorfly November 15, 2010

hedge hog

A man you encourage your daughter to date, wed, or procreate with so you have a hedge fund for your non existent social security. Also known as "Fat F@#$%." Guys that have no other redeeming quality than a paycheck. Also see
"Mr. Collins" from Pride & Prejudice.

I used to be worried about my retirement, until my daughter
found her new hedge hog on e-harmony.

I don't know what I would do without my hedge hog fund... I am so glad I decided to procreate when I was 16, now I can retire at 35.

by floorfly December 1, 2010

Natural Methodist

1. A born again birth control user who excessively claims to be using natural birth control method; and gives TMI about her cycle, her sex life, and her religious beliefs.

2. The natural methodist method is based on a trinity of ideas overshadowed by one all encompassing truth. Firstly, that women ovulate 14 days before menstruation begins, give or take two days. Secondly, that sperm can survive inside a woman for three days. That an egg can only be fertilized within 24 hours of being released from the ovaries.
And lastly, that anyone at work gives a shit.

She's a total Natural Methodist; she would have never made it through high school or technical school if she really was using the the rhythm method. I can't eat hard boiled eggs anymore since she told me when she ovulates.

by floorfly November 21, 2010