Manual stimulation of the penis of vagina to produce a stimulation simular to actual penetration by a member of the opposite sex.
It's something most of us have been caught doing, never admit to doing, and know full well that everyone else does.
Woody Allen: "Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone that I love."
Contrary to what the billboards may tell you, the trailer parks aren’t populated by benevolent seniors who play golf in their back yards, and choose low-income housing out of pure humility. The fact of the matter is, they attract the dregs of society like a giant porch light attracting moths.
Trailer park tenants can be broken down into five categories.
Category One: the potheads. Strangely, they don’t seem to care that their plants are clearly visible, and poking through every orifice of the trailer.
Category Two: the slackers. Television is their life, even though they’re been so doped up by category one that they haven’t registered anything since the final episode of “M*A*S*H”.
Category Three: the crazies. Typically living in portable trailers, for no other reason than to shake them wildly when the fevered dreams come.
Category Four: the missionaries. These live in the “high-end” district of the trailer park. Representatives of the Mormon religion, they wander two-by-two through the wilderness, often thinking back to the great one man conversion of ’89.
Category Five: the hippies. Closely related to category one, except this group grows pot only for themselves (It’s strictly medicinal – treatment for their cocaine and heroin addictions).
A strange smell wafts through the air. The echo of gunshots. A half-naked man stumbles drunkenly down the road.
Welcome to trailer trash town, may I take your order?
A variation on the "5 second rule" and "3 second rule", this term is mostly employed by street vagrants, or those who cannot stoop over to retrieve their food in less than 5 seconds.
Uuh... I can't bend that fast.
Oh, well. 10 second rule.
1. A well-written and extremely intelligent television show that ran from 1966 to 1973. Starring Martin Landau and Peter Graves.
2. Follow-up to the original television series that ran from 1988 to 1990. The only returning actor was Peter Graves.
3. A film loosely based on the television series. This 1996 film stars Tom Cruise and is directed by Brian De Palma. Followed by a sequel in 2000 (Directed by John Woo).
Man 1: It's too bad that the Mission: Impossible film screwed up the great ideas the show had.
Man 2: I agree!