3 definitions by dither
In Dungeons & Dragons or similar game, when a player's minimum damage is enough to defeat an enemy but the player desires to see the resulting damage, this is referred to as rolling "funeral damage."
GM: What's the minimum damage for your dagger attack?
Player 1: Let's see, it's dee-four plus eight. So, nine.
Player 2: Don't forget sneak attack.
Player 1: Oh duh. Two dee-six means two more.
GM: Eleven damage is enough to kill this guy. You just need to hit.
Player 1: Woo! Seventeen on the die! Eat it!
GM: Okay, it's dead.
Player 2: Wait a second, you get to roll like, three dice. DO IT.
GM: Fine. Roll funeral damage.
Player 1: Nice! Twenty-one damage.
GM: He only had three hit points left.
Player 1: Let's see, it's dee-four plus eight. So, nine.
Player 2: Don't forget sneak attack.
Player 1: Oh duh. Two dee-six means two more.
GM: Eleven damage is enough to kill this guy. You just need to hit.
Player 1: Woo! Seventeen on the die! Eat it!
GM: Okay, it's dead.
Player 2: Wait a second, you get to roll like, three dice. DO IT.
GM: Fine. Roll funeral damage.
Player 1: Nice! Twenty-one damage.
GM: He only had three hit points left.
by dither March 21, 2014
Umop the Clown is a fictional character created in October 2003 during a Dungeons & Dragons game. The word 'down' was written on the game map, which was misread as "umop" and became a source of humor for the gaming group. When Nick, the Dungeon Master, grew frustrated with the joke and re-wrote the word in a vain attempt to put a stop to the silliness, the word 'down' was re-interpreted as "clown," and thus was born "Umop the Clown."
His eponymous theme song was written and performed a few weeks after his creation by band Dinzer, with the main vocals performed by Don and Nick.
In the song, Umop is revealed to wear a hospital gown while obsessively driving around the city in search of a fruit-flavored food called "Fruit Sucky."
Umop the Clown has a backstory, written some years after his initial creation, that parallels the story of Anakin Skywalker in the Star Wars films.
His eponymous theme song was written and performed a few weeks after his creation by band Dinzer, with the main vocals performed by Don and Nick.
In the song, Umop is revealed to wear a hospital gown while obsessively driving around the city in search of a fruit-flavored food called "Fruit Sucky."
Umop the Clown has a backstory, written some years after his initial creation, that parallels the story of Anakin Skywalker in the Star Wars films.
Jack "What's umop?"
Nick "That's not umop, it's down ... you're just reading it upside-down."
Jack "No, look at how you wrote it, it looks like umop."
Nick "Fine, I'll rewrite it, just for you."
Glenn "Now it looks like clown."
Nick *Fuming* "You guys suck."
...
Don *Strumming at his guitar*
Lindsay "I'm really craving something fruity right now. Remember how I used to come over here after school and drink your Capri Suns?"
Nick "We don't have any Capri Sun right now, but we might have some Popsicles... let me check."
Nick *Returning* "No Popsicles. I'm sure if we had any, they'd be in a big yellow box labeled 'Fruit Sucky,' or something."
Don *Strumming at his guitar*
...
I am Umop the Clown/I like to be upside-down/I like spinning 'round and 'round/I want my Fruit Sucky sucky.
Nick "That's not umop, it's down ... you're just reading it upside-down."
Jack "No, look at how you wrote it, it looks like umop."
Nick "Fine, I'll rewrite it, just for you."
Glenn "Now it looks like clown."
Nick *Fuming* "You guys suck."
...
Don *Strumming at his guitar*
Lindsay "I'm really craving something fruity right now. Remember how I used to come over here after school and drink your Capri Suns?"
Nick "We don't have any Capri Sun right now, but we might have some Popsicles... let me check."
Nick *Returning* "No Popsicles. I'm sure if we had any, they'd be in a big yellow box labeled 'Fruit Sucky,' or something."
Don *Strumming at his guitar*
...
I am Umop the Clown/I like to be upside-down/I like spinning 'round and 'round/I want my Fruit Sucky sucky.
by dither July 19, 2008
A term, created for the Dungeons & Dragons game, that describes the player who fulfills two important functions during a roleplaying game: referee and storyteller.
As the rules for Dungeons & Dragons are vast and complex, it's the job of the Dungeon Master to facilitate gameplay and to determine the outcome of contested events by deciding how to interpret a given rule or dice roll.
It's also the job of a Dungeon Master to provide the setting for the players' fictional characters, create goals for the characters to accomplish, and to fill any supporting roles needed for the adventure (kings, princes, dragons, innkeepers, barmaids, villains, etc.).
The ultimate goal of a Dungeon Master is provide a fun and satisfying challenge for the players to overcome, through acting, exploration, puzzle-solving, and scenario-based decision-making.
As the rules for Dungeons & Dragons are vast and complex, it's the job of the Dungeon Master to facilitate gameplay and to determine the outcome of contested events by deciding how to interpret a given rule or dice roll.
It's also the job of a Dungeon Master to provide the setting for the players' fictional characters, create goals for the characters to accomplish, and to fill any supporting roles needed for the adventure (kings, princes, dragons, innkeepers, barmaids, villains, etc.).
The ultimate goal of a Dungeon Master is provide a fun and satisfying challenge for the players to overcome, through acting, exploration, puzzle-solving, and scenario-based decision-making.
Girl "I'm shooting! Bang! Bang! I got you!"
Boy "No you didn't! What's the DM say?"
Dungeon Master "The first shot went wide, but the second shot grazed your shoulder, causing a stinging wound."
Boy "I'm returning fire! Bang! Bang!"
Dungeon Master "With your wounded shoulder, you're having a difficult time focusing on your target, and each round fired causes pain to shoot through your arm. Both shots miss."
Girl "I'm taking cover behind this barrel and shooting again! Bang! Bang!"
Dungeon Master "The barrel provides excellent cover, and your aim is true. Both shots strike the leg. He's not going to be able to move particularly fast."
Girl "Yay!"
Boy "Darn! Wait! I notice that the barrel she's hiding behind says 'flammable!' "
Girl "Flammable? What's that mean?"
Dungeon Master "Indeed, the barrel is labeled as flammable. What do you do?"
Boy "I use the last of my energy to shoot the barrel she's hiding behind!"
Dungeon Master "Oh, my. Are you sure?"
Boy "Yes! Bang! Bang!"
Dungeon Master "Well, then..."
Boy "No you didn't! What's the DM say?"
Dungeon Master "The first shot went wide, but the second shot grazed your shoulder, causing a stinging wound."
Boy "I'm returning fire! Bang! Bang!"
Dungeon Master "With your wounded shoulder, you're having a difficult time focusing on your target, and each round fired causes pain to shoot through your arm. Both shots miss."
Girl "I'm taking cover behind this barrel and shooting again! Bang! Bang!"
Dungeon Master "The barrel provides excellent cover, and your aim is true. Both shots strike the leg. He's not going to be able to move particularly fast."
Girl "Yay!"
Boy "Darn! Wait! I notice that the barrel she's hiding behind says 'flammable!' "
Girl "Flammable? What's that mean?"
Dungeon Master "Indeed, the barrel is labeled as flammable. What do you do?"
Boy "I use the last of my energy to shoot the barrel she's hiding behind!"
Dungeon Master "Oh, my. Are you sure?"
Boy "Yes! Bang! Bang!"
Dungeon Master "Well, then..."
by dither July 19, 2008