Definitions by dankhaddock

ohmigod variant

how valley girls refer to the omicron covid variant.

“hey suzy, did you hear about the new ohmigod variant? it’s - like - sooooo contagious.”

ohmigod variant by dankhaddock December 21, 2021

false wetness 

the usage of a sexual lubricant. specifically, using a lubricant without your partner's knowledge is "bearing false wetness."

"man, i thought my girlfriend was really ready for me last night, but later when i snuck into her purse i found out she was bearing false wetness. isn't that a sin?"

false wetness by dankhaddock October 17, 2012

phonejam 

the combination of earwax, sweat and dirt that builds up around the edges and in the depressions of your mobile phone or its case.

man, I haven't cleaned my case in months, it's almost black with phonejam.

phonejam by dankhaddock January 7, 2012

waiftress 

the underweight, pasty, young urchin serving you in a bar. typically with doc marten boots, no makeup and stringy hair.

hopefully the draft in the bar won't blow our waiftress away before she brings me another beer.

waiftress by dankhaddock November 21, 2010

mater 

the name for a significant other who is a dedicated partner, but where no marriage has taken place. indicative of a much stronger relationship than simply "boyfriend" or "girlfriend."

i'd like to introduce my mater, sheri.

mater by dankhaddock January 18, 2010