customfish's definitions

Funwrecker

Someone (usually a wife or mother) that has the uncanny ability and timing.. to pick the exact moment when you are truly happy and bring it to a screeching stop.

Mike: This is the best time I've ever had. It sure is nice to be able to finally...

Gail: We gotta go. This sunlight is too shiny.. and what's with all the crystal blue water.... they keep refilling my drink before it's even half empty!

Mike: FUNWRECKER!

by customfish February 5, 2010

I'll be honest

A saying that is immediately followed by a lie.

Landlord: I'll be honest, the place doesn't have rats and none of your neighbors are convicted sex offenders.

Potential Tenant: Fuck you scumbag; honestly.

by customfish February 8, 2010

Shinwhacker

Someone that is so fucking annoying... that to be in their presence is like getting whacked in the shins with a golf club coated in lime juice and salt over and over and over.

Mike: Dude where were you the entire party?

Tim: That shinwhacker Jamie had me pinned down next to guac' bowl all night. I can hardly stand up straight..

Mike: I saw him get out of his truck and almost fell down a flight of stairs running for cover.

by customfish February 5, 2010

Bum Slushing

The art of convincing bums, children or the elderly to move towards the curb/puddle/slush where they are summarily drenched by your passing car.

Steve: Hey Bob, do you want to go Bum Slushing tonight? The weatherman is calling for snowpocalypse!

Bob: How does that work again?

Steve: First we hit the bank and get a few rolls of pennies, then we make a pass down State and Madison throwing pennies all over the place, circle around....

Bob: Steve, you are going to hell.

by customfish February 9, 2010