26 definitions by cosmicstargoat

What floats on water and weighs the same as a witch.
When asked by Sir Benomir, what also floats, King Authur exclaimed "A duck".
by cosmicstargoat January 30, 2004
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An insurance salesperson who is continually frustrated by humans who refuse to listen.
by cosmicstargoat June 5, 2004
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Annoying and often Idiotic slogans, sayings and proclamations that are attached to the bumpers of the vehicles of usually rednecks or aging hippies.

These abrasive slogans are displayed by the proud owners in lieu of actual original thought and expression. Ditto for the stupid fishies that fundies adorn their autos with, smugly trying to project some sort of superiority, but only showing their boundless stupidity.
My daughter is a honor student

honk if you love jesus

It's in the Bible, I believe it, and that settles it

If you outlaw guns, only outlaws will have guns

In case of rapture, this vehicle will be unmanned

Tourettes is a GODAMNED, SERIOUS fucking CONDITION, man!
by cosmicstargoat June 16, 2004
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Why? Simply because this is a euphemism for asking for a freebie, a handout or a loan that you never intend to pay. First made famous by the bloated nitwit 'Wimpy', a waddling loser with an eating disorder in Popeye comics, it is a metaphor for the financial irresponsibility that is epidemic in American society today.

You have undoubtedly seen these 'Check Cashing' businesses that have a habit of springing up in the declining parts of town. Well, what these leeches do is give the gullible and irresponsible dregs of our society ADVANCES on their next paycheck, at exorbitant interest rates, skirting the usury laws. Once they get their claws into you, you are doomed. Idiots do this sort of thing in order to support their lotto or cigarette habit.


"I'll gladly pay you Tuesday, for a hamburer today", simply put is spending money before you have it. -or- simply mooching.
The United States Federal Government churns out millions of dollars of military, welfare and other 'hamburgers' that it does not intend to pay for until next Tuesday. In other words, by your grandchildren.
by cosmicstargoat May 14, 2004
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You'll snap shit when you go to the war soldier, or you'll come back in a rubber sack.
by cosmicstargoat May 15, 2004
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Texas holdem poker is the world's greatest and most popular poker game. The game is played with each player getting 2 cards down and then there are 5 community cards, face up on the table, for all to play. After looking at the hold cards there is a round of betting, the flop, which consists of 3 cards face up on the table, another round of betting, the turn, one card face up on the table, and finally the river, which is the last card up. The most popular variation is no limit Texas Holdem.
The best thing about The World Poker Tour and Texas Holdem Poker is Shana Hiatt's tits
by cosmicstargoat April 23, 2004
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