1 definition by choiceboards
Normal work day, on a conference call, about to squeeze out a nice silent fart through an Aeron chair and surround myself with deadly aroma. At the last second, I noticed a slightly off center feeling in the sphincter, and induced a underwear-saving clench when I sharted a moment later. The experience really highlights how this is really a game of inches. Sure I coated the cheeks with some viscous mud, but that quick reaction saved me from free balling for the day. As a younger man, I doubt I would have possessed the intimate connection to and understanding I have for my body that prompted that clench. But today, following years of beers, beans, farts and conference calls, I'm really tuned in and avoided a perilous situation.
by choiceboards March 15, 2018