47 definitions by carl j. maltese
Just another damn clone produced by Bell Labs under contract to Disney.
When she is all-used-up, Disney will just order some new ones to unleash on the public.
When she is all-used-up, Disney will just order some new ones to unleash on the public.
by carl j. maltese May 14, 2007
Bob : "The PTL club, founded by Jim and Tammy Baker, was brought to ruin by a combined conspiricy involving Jessica Hahn, Howard Stern, Berkley Brethard, Jerry Falwell, Oral Roberts, Jimmy Swaggart, Pat Robertson, the Liberal/Leftist Media, Ronald Reagan, Fawn Hall-and/or-Donna Rice, Playboy and Penthouse, National Lampoon Magazine, and Satan Himself!"
Eric: "Dude, you're f**king wacked!"
Eric: "Dude, you're f**king wacked!"
by carl j. maltese April 13, 2007
This is the imfamous urban myth about the cheerleader who: Gets on the bus with the winning football team, performs oral sex on every guy...swallows...more than once in some cases...and then becomes violently ill and has to be rushed to the hospital to have her stomach pumped!
Alternate versions of the story have said incident occuring in the locker room, at someones house and/or victory party after the game. The sport in particular also varies. Some times it's the basketball team, the lacross team, the soccer team, etc. Also, the girl in question also various. Some times it's the campus slut, sometimes it's even a hot female teacher or someone's MILF mom!
Another variation on this urban myth is that the girl in question has straight 'intercourse with the entire team, gets her genitals ripped-open, and has to be rushed to the hospital to have her ravaged vagina sewn-up/sewn shut!
Alternate versions of the story have said incident occuring in the locker room, at someones house and/or victory party after the game. The sport in particular also varies. Some times it's the basketball team, the lacross team, the soccer team, etc. Also, the girl in question also various. Some times it's the campus slut, sometimes it's even a hot female teacher or someone's MILF mom!
Another variation on this urban myth is that the girl in question has straight 'intercourse with the entire team, gets her genitals ripped-open, and has to be rushed to the hospital to have her ravaged vagina sewn-up/sewn shut!
"In the urban myth known as the Cheerleader story, the girl performed so much hot oral sex on the football team during their bus-ride home she had to have her stomach pumped! Guess she swallowed a little too much!"
by carl j. maltese March 23, 2007
Supreme Headquarters Alien Defense Organization.
Supreme Headquarters Allied Defense Organization.
Fictional secret organization from the British sc-fi TV show "UFO." Said organization was established in the far-flung, futuristic year of 1980 and waged a covert war with maurauding "unhuman" aliens who were kidnapping humans for their own sinister purposes.
Supreme Headquarters Allied Defense Organization.
Fictional secret organization from the British sc-fi TV show "UFO." Said organization was established in the far-flung, futuristic year of 1980 and waged a covert war with maurauding "unhuman" aliens who were kidnapping humans for their own sinister purposes.
by carl j. maltese April 8, 2007
Suposed homosexual porn movie about the life of Jesus Christ compared with a nameless contemporary man and their shared sexual tastes. Hotly sought-out and marked for destruction by the Religious Right, in reality there is NO SUCH MOVIE!!!
Rumours of such a movie have been circulating since the early 1970's. Said rumours were probably started amongst the Gay community for sole purpose of annoying the Moraly Indignant, and there was even a false review of it in a book about the "golden turkeys," aka the worst movies ever made. This, of course, only served to strengthing the Religious Right's resolve to find-and-burn!! It's review in said book of "golden turkeys" was actually part of a reader contest to find the one fake movie amongst the real "stinkers."
Despite endless (and fruitless) searches --and the truth being held in their collective faces-- certain members of the Religious Right still continue their sacred mission to find-and-destroy this non-existant movie!
Rumours of such a movie have been circulating since the early 1970's. Said rumours were probably started amongst the Gay community for sole purpose of annoying the Moraly Indignant, and there was even a false review of it in a book about the "golden turkeys," aka the worst movies ever made. This, of course, only served to strengthing the Religious Right's resolve to find-and-burn!! It's review in said book of "golden turkeys" was actually part of a reader contest to find the one fake movie amongst the real "stinkers."
Despite endless (and fruitless) searches --and the truth being held in their collective faces-- certain members of the Religious Right still continue their sacred mission to find-and-destroy this non-existant movie!
Bill: "Hey, man. You here about that gay-porn movie called "Him?" Some pretty freaky sheet happens in it!"
Tom: "Calm yourself down before you ruin your shorts. There is no such movie. It's all just a rumour going 'round."
Bill: "Really? Then what the hell was that video I was watching last night!?"
Tom: "You STILL have home video of my 16th birthday party!?"
Tom: "Calm yourself down before you ruin your shorts. There is no such movie. It's all just a rumour going 'round."
Bill: "Really? Then what the hell was that video I was watching last night!?"
Tom: "You STILL have home video of my 16th birthday party!?"
by carl j. maltese April 30, 2007