carl j. maltese's definitions

raining like a double-cunted cow pissing on a flat rock

An archaic "hick" term for heavy rain or snow fall.

"Sheeeeeet! It sure is cumin' down out there! Raining like a double-cunted cow pissing on a flat rock!"

by Carl J. Maltese April 28, 2007

World War III

Websters Dictionary once defined 'World War III' as: "A hypothetical war of the future involving nuclear and/or biological weapons and resulting in the near or total destruction of mankind."

There are also many, many books, novels, short stories, scenarios, pamphlets, tracts, magazines, comic books, movies, and television shows dealing with this subject.

The One True Comment on World War III:
"I don't know what weapons will be used in the Third World War, but the Fourth will see the survivors...armed with clubs!"--Albert Einstein

by Carl J. Maltese July 17, 2007

prom

Something Your future employers are not going to ask you about or care about.

Human Resources Person: "So, what sort of experience do have for this job?"

Trendoid Preppyuppie Throwback: "Well, I went to my senior prom in a stretch limo that cost my father...."

Human Resources Person: "Uh, that's not what I asked you. Do you or do you not have experience? Hmmmm?"

Trendoid Preppyuppie Throwback: "Well, uh....my father's rich and I dated a cheerleader and....did I mention I went to the prom?"

Human Resources Person: "NEXT!!"

by Carl J. Maltese May 26, 2007

dresses that can only be worn once

Those expensive prom dresses you just had to have.

"I fail to see why all those stupid girls would waste such an incredible amount of money on dresses that can only be worn once. I mean, the guys wear rented tuxedoes. Why can't the girls get rental dresses?"

by Carl J. Maltese June 16, 2007

SHIELD

Supreme Headquarters International Espionage Law-enforcement Division.

In my previous entry I had forgotten to include the word "Espionage." But, as any devout reader of Marvel Comics can tell you, both definitions are correct as Marvel briefly dropped "Espionage" from SHIELD in the late 1970's. They eventually restored it.

by Carl J. Maltese May 21, 2007

salvation army

A great place to find rather interesting...albeit used...books, CD's, cassette tapes, record albums, 8-track tapes, DVD's, 12" laser discs, VHS video tapes, BETAMAX video tapes, and obsolete electronic equipment.
A lousy place for finding clothes, furniture, or anything else that might be useful for day-to-day living.

"The Salvation Army thrift store is having another book sale, four for a dollar. Unfortunatley, they're also having a used underwear sale too...."

by Carl J. Maltese October 13, 2007

blow job

A nice job, if you can get it.

"I could really go for a blow job right about now."

by Carl J. Maltese April 21, 2007