carl j. maltese's definitions

prom

Something Your future employers are not going to ask you about or care about.

Human Resources Person: "So, what sort of experience do have for this job?"

Trendoid Preppyuppie Throwback: "Well, I went to my senior prom in a stretch limo that cost my father...."

Human Resources Person: "Uh, that's not what I asked you. Do you or do you not have experience? Hmmmm?"

Trendoid Preppyuppie Throwback: "Well, uh....my father's rich and I dated a cheerleader and....did I mention I went to the prom?"

Human Resources Person: "NEXT!!"

by Carl J. Maltese May 26, 2007

dresses that can only be worn once

Those expensive prom dresses you just had to have.

"I fail to see why all those stupid girls would waste such an incredible amount of money on dresses that can only be worn once. I mean, the guys wear rented tuxedoes. Why can't the girls get rental dresses?"

by Carl J. Maltese June 16, 2007

World War III

Websters Dictionary once defined 'World War III' as: "A hypothetical war of the future involving nuclear and/or biological weapons and resulting in the near or total destruction of mankind."

There are also many, many books, novels, short stories, scenarios, pamphlets, tracts, magazines, comic books, movies, and television shows dealing with this subject.

The One True Comment on World War III:
"I don't know what weapons will be used in the Third World War, but the Fourth will see the survivors...armed with clubs!"--Albert Einstein

by Carl J. Maltese July 17, 2007

SHIELD

Supreme Headquarters International Espionage Law-enforcement Division.

In my previous entry I had forgotten to include the word "Espionage." But, as any devout reader of Marvel Comics can tell you, both definitions are correct as Marvel briefly dropped "Espionage" from SHIELD in the late 1970's. They eventually restored it.

by Carl J. Maltese May 21, 2007

Jack

Symbolic, alagorical name of that which is evil, bad, or wrong in certain novels, such as "Lord of the Flies."

"In 'Lord of the Flies' by William Golding, the character that represented evil was named 'Jack.' The character that represented good was named 'Roger,' and the character that represented order & rationality was named 'Piggy.'"

by Carl J. Maltese April 15, 2007

Scurv

1970's term for who are now referred to as burnouts and dirtbags.

"You know that new kid around the corner? The one with the hippie parents? He's a real cigarette smoking Scurv!"

by Carl J. Maltese April 15, 2007

Hannah Montana

Just another damned clone produced by Bell Labs under contract to Disney. When she is all-used-up, they'll produce more to unleash on the public.

"Hannah Montana. Proof you can come from nowhere and bring it with you. Also, few adults know or even care that her last name is spelled with only two "n's", not three."

by Carl J. Maltese February 16, 2008