choad

A penis (cock) fatter than it is long; an utterly useless thing that no one could be proud of.

'My kid is a total choad; she called the principal at her school dad.'

or

P Diddy is a choad.

or

'Mmmm fuck... Dude my choad is really itchy, do you mind if i scratch it?'

or

Some Paedophiles will settle for a choad.

or

He came to think of his choad as his off button.