shoebox funeral

Burial of the victim of a fire, explosion, massive crash, which leaves so little remains that fit in a shoebox.

So little left of the victim he could have had a shoebox funeral.

by barber of seville April 12, 2019

picking shit with the chickens

Reduced to meager circumstances. Scratching out a subsistence living. Attempting to make do with minimum resources. Dumpster diving.

"Keep showing up late for work and you'll get fired and be picking shit with the chickens."

by barber of seville December 15, 2012

horsed the duck

A variation of "screwed the pooch". Visualize duck stepped on by horse.

What a screwup. He horsed the duck.

by barber of seville January 19, 2018

feathering your nest

Placing lengths of toilet paper on the seat before mounting, to ensure none of your bare ass contacts it.

Never sit on a public toilet without feathering your nest.

by barber of seville June 13, 2019

get on the ball, shitbird, before you get the hook

scatological expression of the Eagle, Globe, and Anchor -- The USMC emblem.

If I were you I'd get myself squared away. In other words: get on the ball, shitbird, before you get the hook.

by barber of seville November 27, 2020

piss and punk

Marine Corps jargon for bread and water -- food and drink served in the Brig.

That screw-up is getting piss and punk in the brig.

by barber of seville June 24, 2018

he would fuck up a wet dream

A person so incompetent he couldn't even adequately perform a natural function.

Don't trust George with that job. He would fuck up a wet dream.

by barber of seville May 09, 2019