Definitions by al-in-chgo
phallus
1. The penis itself.
2. Specifically, an erect penis.
3. A representation of a phallus, often exaggerated, in art or myth.
4. A non-literal representation of phallic shape, intent or function.
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2. Specifically, an erect penis.
3. A representation of a phallus, often exaggerated, in art or myth.
4. A non-literal representation of phallic shape, intent or function.
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1. It's a little pompous to refer to one's penis as a phallus, but it is lexically correct.
2. A penis is for urination; when it becomes erect it is a phallus, serving sexual or reproductive purposes.
3. Two representations of phallus:
a. For example, a primitive sculpture that shows a grotesquely large penis is using the organ as a phallus to indicate fertility, or to represent masculine potency in general.
b. Similarly, the exaggerated genitalia in the work of gay artists such as Tom of Finland emphasize the erotic quality of the phallus, sometimes called hyper-masculinity.
4. A penis, phallus or idea of potency symbolized in an object. The most commonly used term, derived from Freudian psychoanalysis, is called a phallic symbol. One example of this is the very last shot of Hitchcock's 1959 thriller NORTH BY NORTHWEST, which wittily shows a passenger train plunging into a tunnel. Because of the prior plot, the audience knows very well that a train has erotic potential, so the last shot indicates sexual intercourse.
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2. A penis is for urination; when it becomes erect it is a phallus, serving sexual or reproductive purposes.
3. Two representations of phallus:
a. For example, a primitive sculpture that shows a grotesquely large penis is using the organ as a phallus to indicate fertility, or to represent masculine potency in general.
b. Similarly, the exaggerated genitalia in the work of gay artists such as Tom of Finland emphasize the erotic quality of the phallus, sometimes called hyper-masculinity.
4. A penis, phallus or idea of potency symbolized in an object. The most commonly used term, derived from Freudian psychoanalysis, is called a phallic symbol. One example of this is the very last shot of Hitchcock's 1959 thriller NORTH BY NORTHWEST, which wittily shows a passenger train plunging into a tunnel. Because of the prior plot, the audience knows very well that a train has erotic potential, so the last shot indicates sexual intercourse.
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phallus by al-in-chgo March 14, 2010
black penis length
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A topic about which there has been a lot of misinformation, myth, fear, and nervous joking.
Many people have it that the "average" penis length of an adult African-American is close to eight inches or more.
Actually, statistics gathered in the USA indicate that on average black men were indeed longer than whites and Hispanics in that area -- but only by about one-third of an inch. Black men have the longest penises, and the shortest. For American men (all races), the average length is about 5 and two-thirds inches, for black men about five and three-quarter inches. The reason the measure of black men did not "swell" the average by a full third-of an-inch is that African-American adult men, as a statistical minority, had fewer men measured as a group than whites and Hispanics, and thus were underweighted in dragging up the average.
A topic about which there has been a lot of misinformation, myth, fear, and nervous joking.
Many people have it that the "average" penis length of an adult African-American is close to eight inches or more.
Actually, statistics gathered in the USA indicate that on average black men were indeed longer than whites and Hispanics in that area -- but only by about one-third of an inch. Black men have the longest penises, and the shortest. For American men (all races), the average length is about 5 and two-thirds inches, for black men about five and three-quarter inches. The reason the measure of black men did not "swell" the average by a full third-of an-inch is that African-American adult men, as a statistical minority, had fewer men measured as a group than whites and Hispanics, and thus were underweighted in dragging up the average.
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So if you're concerned about black penis length -- don't be.
And don't be upset if your would-be Mandingo turns out to be an Average Joe -- he is more likely that than not.
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So if you're concerned about black penis length -- don't be.
And don't be upset if your would-be Mandingo turns out to be an Average Joe -- he is more likely that than not.
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black penis length by al-in-chgo March 14, 2010
Your mouth is writing checks your ass can't cash
"Your mouth is writing checks your ass can't cash," is something TV Dr. Phil McGraw's father said to him as a boy when he would voice wild plans or notions. It means that talk is cheap relative to performance, or that promising something and delivering on it are two different things. A phrase similar in meaning is "Money talks, bullshit walks."
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"I'm going to get a job selling fuzzy dice door-to-door. I'll be rich!"
"Boy, your mouth is writing checks your ass can't cash."
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"Boy, your mouth is writing checks your ass can't cash."
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Your mouth is writing checks your ass can't cash by al-in-chgo March 13, 2010
lip fur
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"The model Jeff York has some of the nicest lip fur I've ever seen."
"Yeah, John Stossel's is pretty great, too."
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"The model Jeff York has some of the nicest lip fur I've ever seen."
"Yeah, John Stossel's is pretty great, too."
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lip fur by al-in-chgo March 13, 2010
tumescence
The process of erection in a man, whereby his penis gets stiffer and larger, and sometimes points away from the body at an angle.
Adjective form: "tumescent."
After sexual outlet, the reverse process is called "detumescence" (see listing).
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Adjective form: "tumescent."
After sexual outlet, the reverse process is called "detumescence" (see listing).
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"It was a pretty normal tumescence, but it took longer than usual."
"Maybe you've been having too much sex. Or it's just a consequence of getting older."
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"Maybe you've been having too much sex. Or it's just a consequence of getting older."
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tumescence by al-in-chgo March 13, 2010
pun
A play on words. Generally a pun takes a word that is quite understandable in context and replaces it with a homonym (same-sounding word) to create an entirely new meaning, or replaces a word with a similar-sounding one to the same effect.
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A pun involving a word with two possible meanings --
Nurse, to young woman about to receive a vaccination:
"You're going to feel a little prick."
Woman: "It wouldn't be the first time."
* * *
A pun that uses a similar-sounding term to the expected one, to humorous effect --
A one-liner: "JFK's private life was so sexy they should have called his administration Cum-A-Lot."
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Nurse, to young woman about to receive a vaccination:
"You're going to feel a little prick."
Woman: "It wouldn't be the first time."
* * *
A pun that uses a similar-sounding term to the expected one, to humorous effect --
A one-liner: "JFK's private life was so sexy they should have called his administration Cum-A-Lot."
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pun by al-in-chgo March 13, 2010
shaggy dog story
A long, convoluted anecdote, often told simply to result in a sentence that consists almost entirely of puns.
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One classic shaggy dog story involves a man named Hugh who is out to stop a couple of monks from growing flowers for money:
"Remember Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars."
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"Remember Hugh, and only Hugh, can prevent florist friars."
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shaggy dog story by al-in-chgo March 13, 2010