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Definitions by Zig Ziggy Treat Teeth

Cardboard Sock 

(n) A Forgotten or misplaced aid for mopping up of excess semen after masturbation / wanking / 5 knuckle shuffle.

Usually under bed for sometime leaving thick, hard casing around item.
"Watched that Roco Sex trainer IX last night...blew up good stlye...
Luckily I found a cardboard sock from last time under the bed"

festooned 

Reggie: How you feeling there mate?

Mate (on the floor playing with some fluff): Actually, I'm quite festooned...it's all very salmony...

Reggie: Raas!