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Definitions by Veranda Collingwood

texual innuendo

To send a provocative text that hints at promises of sexual favors without graphically describing said favors.
Mike was a master at the art of texual innuendo, sending just enough racy texts to titillate Penny's imagination, without committing himself. Every time Penny's phone vibrated, she got a visceral reaction: Her palms would sweat, her heart beat faster, her breathing catch in her throat. She was hooked.

facebook phobia

Refusal to join facebook due to the completely rational fear of old girlfriends/boyfriends who may still have a hate-on for you after a disastrous break-up years ago.
Girl 1: Hey Carol, how come I couldn't find you on facebook?

Girl 2: No way, Jen! I seriously don't want some of those guys I went out with in college to find me. You remember Frank? He threw that "I hate Carol" party after we broke up? {shudders}

Girl 1: You've GOT to get over your facebook phobia and join the real world!

orgasmorphatism

The condition wherein one imagines someone's orgasm face during the course of a completely unrelated and innocent conversation.
Sarah was chatting with her elderly neighbor about dog grooming when her orgasmorphatism kicked in, causing her to lose her train of thought. She quickly excused herself and ran inside, shaking her head to rid herself of the picture.

John was trying to focus on the nurse's instructions for wound care, but his orgasmorphatism was making it difficult to concentrate on her words.