1 definition by Vampire Cat
A crotchety, perpetually complaining, old, well armed man, who can drop you with a look. His grapefruit-sized balls swing pendulously underneath his saggy sweatpants, which he wears 24/7/365, unless it's hot outside, in which case it's cutoff sweats.
His resemblance to Santa Claus is uncanny, and has been known to cause hypertension in young adults. His resemblance is physical only, as his demeanor will curdle milk. He collects midget-sized women to do his bidding, and is happy to ask them to do just about anything. They often find themselves handling a lot of wood and a lot of shit.
Scott can be found shooting things or thinking about shooting things on any given day. He loves to surround himself with prickly things, women's hair, and Velcro shoes. All tiny women need to be put on notice that he will hook you in if he has the chance.
His resemblance to Santa Claus is uncanny, and has been known to cause hypertension in young adults. His resemblance is physical only, as his demeanor will curdle milk. He collects midget-sized women to do his bidding, and is happy to ask them to do just about anything. They often find themselves handling a lot of wood and a lot of shit.
Scott can be found shooting things or thinking about shooting things on any given day. He loves to surround himself with prickly things, women's hair, and Velcro shoes. All tiny women need to be put on notice that he will hook you in if he has the chance.
Scott: That's a bunch of *&^!@# shit. That's not what O'Reilly said last night.
Me: Are you serious?
Scott: Why wouldn't I be? You think I'm being a vagina?
Me: WTF? (Leaves in a cloud of confusion.)
Me: Are you serious?
Scott: Why wouldn't I be? You think I'm being a vagina?
Me: WTF? (Leaves in a cloud of confusion.)
by Vampire Cat January 21, 2013