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Definitions by Ubeenbamboozledson

Scary Words

A satirical term for inoffensive "trigger words" that, if used, will cause whatever you just posted on the Internet to be removed or heavily censored.
"Bro my post got removed because I said a guy 'died' instead of saying he 'committed not living'"

"Don't you remember? We live in a clown world. You need to be careful not to say any scary words."
Scary Words by Ubeenbamboozledson November 14, 2025

The Assumption Song 

A short song that begins about a farmer living on a rock and ends with a buff lumberjack dude going on a date with a pretty lady. (Yes, you read that right.)

The song's lyrics and its video are noted for being extremely suggestive, with both heavily implying that the upcoming rhyme is going to be something disgusting or dirty, only for it to be something completely innocent or even wholesome. At the very end, the narrator chides the viewer for thinking the song is dirty — ironically, using profanity.
The Assumption Song is a great way to test if you have a dirty mind.

Windsock 

1. An object that looks like a sock (hence the name) attached to a flagpole, which moves in the direction that the wind is blowing.

2. A pejorative term for a (usually selfish) person whose views and behaviors constantly change based on what is best for their own self-interest at the present moment.
1. The windsock nearly blew off the flagpole because of how windy it was.

2. Marcus is a real windsock. He'll support you until it's not in his best interest to do so; then he's gone.
Windsock by Ubeenbamboozledson September 5, 2025
A person who believes that there is no god. It seems simple on paper, but there are many types.
Types of atheists (overlap is common) include:

- "Religious Trauma" Atheist: an atheist who has distanced themselves from religion due to emotional abuse or other bad experiences involving religion.

- "Fix the Problems" Atheist: an atheist who believes that because there are many horrible things going on in the world, there must be no god, because a god would fix those problems.

- "Where Is He?" Atheist: an atheist who mocks the "second coming" due to their belief that it comes off as stalling by religious people.

- "Science Would Go Places" Atheist: an atheist who argues that religion is holding back major scientific advancements.

- Conservative Atheist: an atheist who holds right-wing political views. Conservative atheists are very rare, but they do exist.

- Angry Atheist: a lifelong atheist who is extremely hostile and confrontational. Angry atheists have an unbridled hatred for all religions and often seek to abolish them all entirely.

- Reddit Atheist: an atheist who frequently uses Reddit or is otherwise terminally online. Reddit Atheists are overwhelmingly toxic to the point where it severely affects their daily life. They are typically even more enraged and hostile than a normal angry atheist, do not listen to reasoning, refuse to debate anyone and regularly wish death upon religious people, among other things. Most "normal" atheists do not claim them.

It's OK to not believe in God. Just don't turn into a Reddit Atheist.
Atheist by Ubeenbamboozledson September 1, 2025

Kidney Bean Effect 

A phenomenon where a person who is merely mildly annoyed is actually more dangerous and/or irritable than when they are extremely pissed off.
The Kidney Bean Effect is named for kidney beans, which must be cooked on high heat to make them safe to eat. Cooking them on low heat, on the other hand, makes them even more harmful for human consumption.

Real Talk 

1. A disclaimer before a comment, which could potentially be misconstrued as sarcasm, that affirms it is completely true and/or sincere.
Real talk: This definition is correct. Accept no substitutes.
Real Talk by Ubeenbamboozledson August 6, 2025

Boyfailure 

A young adult male who is just really bad at life in general, usually through no fault of their own. A boyfailure is typically socially awkward, absent-minded or otherwise "stupid" to a ridiculous degree, extremely lonely (willingly or not), or (more commonly) a combination of the three. Their ineptitude is considered cute or endearing by some and the term is usually not meant to be insulting, even though it inherently is. Also called "Boyfail."
"Do you ever just want to take a boyfailure under your wing and take care of him?"
"Damn right I do."