Thomas the tank conductor's definitions

The bench test

When you and your three closest male friends sit on a bench and jerk each other off at the same time. The first one to cum is gay. Giving you a benchmark of who is the gayest.

"I'm not gay and I'll prove it. There is a bench over there, lest do the bench test."

by Thomas the tank conductor July 3, 2022

The scoop

When you and your friends all have sex back to back with one woman and see who's penis scoops semen out best by paternity testing the baby 9 months later.

"Don't worry babe I'm going last in the scoop so the odds are it will be our kid."

by Thomas the tank conductor June 1, 2022