2 definitions by The Marine Scientist

Sad Wank

To go home after a bad night out or other disheartening event and console ones self by sitting in the dark and having a wank. Also know as pulling a Joni or an SW. ( crying optional but recommended)

Just got knocked back by a blind midget... I'm going home for a sad wank.

by The Marine Scientist November 12, 2013

Fire Danger Wank

The act of setting fire to a 'fuse' of lighter fluid and attempting to finish wanking before the fire reaches your balls. no to be attempted by the beginner, should only be performed in a masturbatorium.

Tried to have a fire danger wank last night... all i'll say is roasted nuts!

by The Marine Scientist November 11, 2013