The Informant99's definitions

camper

A move done in Halo games and Cock of Duty "Call of Duty" games. A sack of shit who sits and waits for someone to come by and he kills them. 80% of campers masturbate while waiting and for someone to walk by. Most are eating fast food items off their belly while laying on the couch. If they aren't camping then they are standing in the open for all to see and will get killed costing their team the game. No one knows the real truth behind this standing out in the open not doing anything but some experts believe it's due to them taking a break from the game so they can use their banana fingers to dip a french fry in some ketchup, bbq sauce, or straight up jizz. It is estimated 50% of campers rock the foundations of their home whenever taking a shit. Also, it is estimated 75 to 80% wear helmets while eating breakfast fast food and while sleeping.

Wow this camper is an asshole who won't actually go around and earn his kills me actually doing something.

by The Informant99 January 6, 2012

slamming

A southern term for taking a shit or dropping a duece so to speak. Technically slamming means a massive shit, which in most cases is painful to experience. Due to the fried diet of the south, most slams have large amounts of screaming, moaning, crying, praying, and begging. Many who experience such slams change religions 2 or 3 times and in some cases have even found Waldo during the ordeal. Throughout most of the slam the one taking the slam, also called the slammer, will have slam material better known as reading material to occupy the duration of the painful event. 80% of the time this slam material will consist of up-to-date sports information and news. Though everyone has to live through painful shits it's mostly males who get the brunt of this force. More often than not, males who take slams will have socks on and will keep their phone within an arms reach incase the fire department or medical assistance is needed. It is estimated 1/3 of slammers hallucinate and/or black out due to the amount of pressure put on the rectum and anus.

Wow, I can't believe this guy is slamming in my girlfriend's bathroom.

by The Informant99 January 4, 2012

Phantom Shitter

A curious creature, believed to derive from Naval origins, who shits, slams, thunders, or pisses in the oddest of places. Phantom shitters are second to none in terms of secrecy. He/she normally thinks tactically on placement and timing. As a master of clandestine defecating, a phantom shitter is rarely caught and if caught will not disclose the locations of each shit or if there is a second gunman. Typically phantom shitters work alone but at certain times will work in teams of two to throw off the scent of pursuing investigations if there are signs of being targeted for questioning.

Most phantom shitters start off as upper decker shooters and slammers shitting in the top part of the toilet instead of the bottom. The ones who experience the success of this get intoxicated with joy and pursue further into shitting methods. This typically will carry on from ages 12 to 65, depending on time of first phantom shit, and are mostly of the male gender. However the most success potential comes at earlier stages due to younger people being more flexible.

Just as a chef concerns himself with the right ingredients so do phantom shitters. Texture and consistency play a vital role in each shitting environment and opportunity. This normally will depend on the location and who the anal splinter is meant to target.

A small portion of phantom shitters sing or hum their own theme music and it is said to be a one of a kind experience if able to catch on camera.

"Oh my god man. I think the Phantom Shitter has struck again because there is a massive pile of shit in the fudge batter!"

by The Informant99 January 3, 2012