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That Dude That Knows's definitions

Carpetland

A place of business which, despite its idyllic moniker, is staffed by many completely inept annoying passive-aggressive assholes, is open for way too many hours per day, and is basically just fucking Hell on Earth. A Carpetland employee is usually characterized by a complete lack of product knowledge, an inability to relate to other people in a way which is friendly or kind.
"I thought about going to Carpetland, but then I remembered my last visit there; I would rather have red-hot needles jabbed through my eyes and a red hot poker stuck up my ass."
"Man, I went to Carpetland, and the people were complete assholes. FUCK that place!"
by That Dude That Knows September 23, 2020
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Hardwood Flooring

Verb: Hardwood Flooring is the act of displaying one's large thick rock hard blood-engorged penis in such a manner that the viewer, usually female, is totally awestruck, or "floored". Hardwood Flooring can be used to jumpstart a relationship, or to entice said viewer to engage the "hard wood" with either the mouth, vagina, or sometimes anus.
"Man, that bitch at the party was cold as ice, paying no attention to anyone, then a dude got her attention with some Hardwood Flooring. That changed her little tune, alright."

"I had no idea that Lawrence was gay. I mean, I really don't care, but when I saw his response to Hardwood Flooring I was really surprised."
by That Dude That Knows August 27, 2020
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