Ride the Jellybean

When someone puts their ass cheeks over a clit and squishes it in between.

Last night when Gary went all ride the jellybean I almost came but then he farted.

by Straight Up Ums June 07, 2020

Ham Salad Party

2 cups assorted pork meat
1/2 cup De’Jon’s mustard
1/4 oz Baby feelings

1 Cup juice of baby feelings

1/2 Cup hand sourced mayo (undersized and under fertilized)
Vigorously whipped by foot
Dash of “black” pepper
1 oz Curly’s ass parsley
1 packet gelatin in a fridge for 2 hours

Baby bird in bunt pan then circle to completion.

My fuckin’ guts are ham salad party stuffed after that CJ party at Gene’s house last Tuesday.

by Straight Up Ums July 01, 2025

Fluffy Frenchie

When you give analingus to a hairy French girl and she farts mid ass eating then her butt hairs blow into your face.

Bucky was chowing down on Juliette’s butthole something fierce, I mean that son of a bitch was tonsil deep, then she blew a Fluffy Frenchie so big he almost choked on her ass hair.

by Straight Up Ums October 28, 2023

Hangin In The Guest House

Anal

Hang that phat cock in this ole’ girls guest house honey! Then you’ll be hangin in the guest house.

by Straight Up Ums July 11, 2025