Stegner's definitions

Bloody Donald

A Scottish variation of a Bloody Mary, traditionally served to a young man at his bachelor party. The recipe follows a similar them to the Bloody Mary, but the vodka is replaced with Scotch, and the tomato juice is replaced with the period blood of a fat stripper. Serve with ice and a slice.

We served Donald a pint of Bloody Donald in the Highlander in Ibiza

by Stegner February 2, 2024

Rough Chiquita

A colloquial Scots term, describing the unexpected penetration of a friend’s anus with a poorly lubricated banana.

“Euroboy received a particularly Rough Chiquita whilst sleeping, and dreaming of Napoleon”

by Stegner December 12, 2020

Glugling

A gentleman who gargles a frothy mix of spunk & period blood to clear his sinuses, when blocked in the Balearic Islands

Donald is a pure glugling

by Stegner March 13, 2024

Paisley Abattoir

When you take your girlfriend to Paisley Abbey while she’s on her period and get her to empty her clot filled scants on to the altar, before mixing the detritus with oatmeal to make a hearty breakfast sausage.

As a special treat, the girls at the bingo have got together to make you a lovely Paisley Abattoir, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!

by Stegner June 20, 2023

Golf nonce

A derogatory term for a chap who puts a putter up his rear and shouts “OOOOOH AHHHH WHEEE”

Macca is a golf nonce.

by Stegner June 4, 2023

Tisny

The stinky bridge between the rectal cavity and the labia, colloquially named as “tisny the arse, tisny the fanny”

Shut yer hole or I’ll boot ye right in the tisny

by Stegner April 11, 2025

Shamby

A Scottish slang term for human faecal matter, normally of unusually large mass & density

Call the plumber, I’ve just blocked the toilet with a particularly dense shamby.

by Stegner April 11, 2025