Get the NoSpacesmug. 
The morbidly obese man that breaks into houses every year on December 24th and eats all of the food in your house. If you ever see him in your house, run. Santa Claus will give out presents to kids that he finds attractive and the ugly ones get coal. The presents usually have trackers in them as he handmade them with his children slaves that he kidnapped, also known as “elves”
Sometimes you may find some very small elves in your house. Dispose of them immediately because they have cameras in them. Santa isn’t your friend. He’s a child predator.
Sometimes you may find some very small elves in your house. Dispose of them immediately because they have cameras in them. Santa isn’t your friend. He’s a child predator.
*kid wakes up*
oh my goodness it’s santa claus and he is in my room
santa claus: ho ho ho get in my fabric sack
kid: *climbs into fabric sack*
santa claus: hahaha now you are my elf
kid: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*the kid was forced to make toys until the end of time*
oh my goodness it’s santa claus and he is in my room
santa claus: ho ho ho get in my fabric sack
kid: *climbs into fabric sack*
santa claus: hahaha now you are my elf
kid: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*the kid was forced to make toys until the end of time*
by SteeringWheelFaceReveal June 12, 2023
Get the Santa Clausmug.