A phrase to show that someone is completely clueless. The Egyptian two-step in when a male exits the bathroom after urination but forgets to zip his fly, such that his junk swings to one side with a right step, then swings to the other with a left step. The male is totally clueless that this is occurring.
Did he realize that he just misfired the weapon in the wrong direction? No? Have him do the Egyptian two-step over to do some push ups.
by Stagmen February 23, 2017
When your eager partner wants you to blow a load and she sticks her finger up you butt and then pulls down on your shaft is alternating directions, giving the appearance that she is a dairy farmer for something more than just milk.
Dude, how did that date go last night with the librarian type chick. Dude, total surprise, she pulled the dairy farmer on me until I blew a load into her bucket!
by Stagmen February 23, 2017
Banging an ugly woman without having to look at OR listen to her and picturing a beautiful woman in her place. The two bagger and some tape involves tape for over her mouth so you don't hear her talking during the deed, a bag for over her head so you don't have to look at her, and a bag for over your head in case the one over hers breaks.
Dude, how did the date go with that annoying girl, who had the face that looked like an old shoe? Oh my god, she was not just a two bagger. She was a two bagger and some tape. She was so annoying to talk to, and so ugly, but I needed to get laid so bad that I simply put some tape over her mouth, put bags on both of our heads. I then did the deed while picturing young Pamela Anderson's tits and ass.
by Stagmen October 03, 2017
Legally tugboat is like "Legally Blond" but without and blond and with the tugboat: meaning smart, short, ugly, and fat. She is type of girl your friend sets you up with by saying "she had a nice personality!" Like a tugboat, she looks like she wears a couple of tires around her waist the prevent hip damage!!!!!
Hey man, how did that date go the other night with that girl? Well, she never sent me a body shot, but when I met her, she was "legally tugboat!" Meaning, she went to law school, but was the ugliest chick there; nevertheless my cock thrusts were absorbed by her tire buffers and I blew a load all over her face!
by Stagmen June 06, 2021
Colorado is known for its ascending ski lifts, but the Colorado Cropduster is a special treat that can be given on any crowded public escalator: all you need is a healthy fart and a crowded escalator. The gift-giver gets on the escalator and while walking up it, lets out a steamy fart for the unassuming people behind him. The fart and the smell ascends with the gift giver and all of those behind him have to walk up and through the smell as it slowly hovers and ascends to the top. Even those who are not walking up the escalator and are just stationary still have to toil through the smell as they slowly ascend to the top.
Dude, I rode the subway to work today and pulled a Colorado Cropduster as I ascended up the exit escalator. The smell hovered and at least 20 people had to walk through it to get to where they were going. How about that for a special morning treat!
by Stagmen November 03, 2017