Miotch

This guy gets a thumb up, that is for sure. However, can we really tell if he has thumbs or not? Is he capable of giving himself a thumbs up, or must he hold a thick pencil in his palm facing skyward to resemble a thumb? Either way the man is a legend, thumb or no thumb. He is close with Dan the Man but not in a sexual, friend ship, or literal meaning.
Is that a pencil in Miotch's hand?
by Slapstick Comedy Gone Wrong December 23, 2004
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SideburnZ

A man who takes pride in friends he will never meet in real life. He sleeps in his closet on most nights, and doesn't bathe. Also he has a sock that he wears on his left hand that has a face similar to his great-grandpa's and he spends time talking to this sock on his hand.
SideburnZ just spent twelve hours in his closet talking to his sock again while Masturbating to his winter boots.
by Slapstick Comedy Gone Wrong September 10, 2004
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JoJo the Rabid Monkey

A man who follows the worst NFL team in the history of the spot. This guy is known for snorting crack off the crack of a crack-whore. He likes to eat pancakes as well.
Why don't you stop eating those pancakes JoJo the Rabid Money? Seriously.
by Slapstick Comedy Gone Wrong December 23, 2004
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Wedge

The don himself. This guy runs the place, Dan the Man used to be his sex slave, but quit to work for SideburnZ. Overall Wedge can be summed up in six and a half words.

He is really great at doing Sta.... (I did say a half didn't I)
Wedge got wedged into the corner of his car again. Someone get this man the jaws of life.
by Slapstick Comedy Gone Wrong December 23, 2004
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El Capitano Gatisto

A man who feels his cocky demeaner somehow makes him a superior person. He however does not realize that in real life he collects wellfare and lives in a giant boot that was once owned by Paul Bunyan.
It looks like El Capitano Gatisto got out of the boot finally... thank god.
by Slapstick Comedy Gone Wrong December 23, 2004
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Alphabean

Dude has a hat made of pure butter. He and Miotch often go to see SideburnZ when he is out of the closet with his grandpa sock. Alphabean and Wedge are enemeys who would each each others faces out if they were not afraid of chipping a tooth.
How did you get that hat made of butter on to the beach without it melting Alphabean?
by Slapstick Comedy Gone Wrong December 24, 2004
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Jobber to the Stars

A regular genious. This guy is right on the level of Alphabean as far as English goes. He however has one flaw, and that flaw is that he and El Capitano Gatisto like to wear giant boots. ECG lives in a boot however, and JTTS just wears them.
You really are growing out your stash well this year aren't you Jobber to the Stars.
by Slapstick Comedy Gone Wrong December 23, 2004
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