paranoid

Descriptive Noun. Fourth part of a four-part sequence which explains all types of individuals.
An OPTIMIST is a person who doesn't have all the facts.
A PESSIMIST is an optimist who does have all the facts.
A CYNIC is a pessimist who has seen the facts in action.
A PARANOID is a cynic who has FINALLY realized that the facts are after him.
Petra the Paranoid is worried that her boyfriend, Peter the Priapic, is going to cheat on her. Oh, she's just crazy and irrational. The only other people who believe her nutty fear are the Nancy Nurse and Debbie Doctor, who have just finished the report which confirms that Petra has an STD.
by seeker6079 October 27, 2005
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optimist

Descriptive Noun. First part of a four-part sequence which explains all types of individuals.
An OPTIMIST is a person who doesn't have all the facts.
A PESSIMIST is an optimist who does have all the facts.
A CYNIC is a pessimist who has seen the facts in action.
A PARANOID is a cynic who has FINALLY realized that the facts are after him.
Johnny the Optimist says, "Gosh, I'm sure that the Congress will make laws for the benefit of the public rather than those wealthy enough to buy a congressman or senator and slap a bar code on their back! After all, this is a Democracy." (Exits, stage right, humming "America The Beautiful, badly off key.)
by seeker6079 October 27, 2005
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pessimist

Descriptive Noun. Second part of a four-part sequence which explains all types of individuals.
An OPTIMIST is a person who doesn't have all the facts.
A PESSIMIST is an optimist who does have all the facts.
A CYNIC is a pessimist who has seen the facts in action.
A PARANOID is a cynic who has FINALLY realized that the facts are after him.
Janey the Pessimist says, "I'm pretty sure that the gunmakers won't have to worry about liability, because they have bought enough public figures to ensure that it is so."
by seeker6079 October 27, 2005
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