1 definition by Russ Barker-Martinez
Caks are those small little jalk wannabe bitches that everyone can, and wants to, kick the shit out of all the time, but choose not to. You must understand that a cak is not a jalk, though at times the two may be confused with one another. One distinct feature that a jalk has over a cak is size. Jalks are generally taller and more muscular than caks. Jalks also don't act quite as retarded as caks, preventing people from wanting to the kick the shit out of them so much. Caks are jalk wannabes, which explains why they try out for all the sports, and can later be seen with a broken apendige. Caks can easily be identified from a distance. They are about 5'6"-5'9" and have a very small penis and balls. They are aber-crombie and fitch wearing pussies who treat women like shit, and the women seem to enjoy it, which is why none of the normal people have girlfriends. General cak attire includes polo shirts with white a baby blue stripes. Hats and visors to the side are common. Some sort of necklace, particularly pooka shell can be found around their neck. Cargo shorts with sandles and ankle or no socks, or loose jeans with nigro shoes are common. Caks are attention grabbers, and while sometimes they can be funny, usually, they're just retarded and act like little fuckers that I want to kill. Just to clarify, I want to eliminate the entire cak population from existance. Caks often say or do random things that do not make sense in order to impress and or grab attention as I've said before. Cak phrases include walking up to a random person and saying something like, Cak-"You OK, man?" response-"Uh...yeah..." cak-"Ya sure, man?" response- "Uh...yeah...why?" cak -"Ok, man, just checkin." There is a distinct retardation in a cak's voice that is easy to pinpoint. WHAT HAVE WE LET HAPPEN, PEOPLE? IN THE 90'S, THIS GROUP WAS SMALL AND COULD HAVE EASILY BEEN ELIMINATED. BUT THEY'VE SPREAD. THE OTHER DAY, I SAW 3 CAKS IN THE MAKING. 3!!! AND THEY WERE ALL LITTLE 4TH GRADERS. WE MUST STOP THIS BEFORE IT GETS OUT OF CONTROL!
A-WTF? Some idiot just walked up to me and asked if I was OK. And then he just walked off.
B-What did he look like?
A-Well, he was about 5'6" and was wearing a polo shirt with white and baby blue stripes, aber crombie and fitch pants, sandles with no socks, and a backwards visor.
B-Oh, it was a Cak. Don't worry, they're all like that.
A-Really? That's gay! I want to kill them all.
B-I know what you mean...
B-What did he look like?
A-Well, he was about 5'6" and was wearing a polo shirt with white and baby blue stripes, aber crombie and fitch pants, sandles with no socks, and a backwards visor.
B-Oh, it was a Cak. Don't worry, they're all like that.
A-Really? That's gay! I want to kill them all.
B-I know what you mean...
by Russ Barker-Martinez March 18, 2005